WARWICK, England - (Satire News) - Warwick Castle was built in 1068 by William The Conqueror. The medieval structure was constructed using stone, rock, mortar, and reconstituted ravioli that was imported from the Hey Guido Valley of southern Italy.
A 54-year-old entomologist from Whitechapel in East London last night strongly refuted claims made by a member of the camera crew who accompanied him on a recent trip to study the behaviour of leaf-cutter ants in Borneo that he had a enjoyed a numbe…
AUSTIN – (Satire News) – Back around Christmas time, the Lone Star state of Texas was hit with the worst lady bug infestation since the fall of 1849. This horrific insect invasion, was dubbed by Tittle Tattle Tonight senior writer Pico de Gallo, a…
WACO, Texas – (Satire News) – Throughout the years, the state of Texas has seen many different types of insect invasions; including the Dreaded Canadian Cicada Invasion of 1959, the Infamous Costa Rican Cricket Invasion of 1993, the Horrendous Missis…
CINCINNATI – (Satire News) – The city of Cincinnati has not experienced anything like the so-called Canadian Cricket Invasion of 2021, since the Praying Mantis Infestation of 1959. Cincinnati resident, Eller E. Vincy, 94, who lived through the pr…
Washington, D.C.- Vice President, Mike Pence, doesn't get the broad powers to pardon prison sentences for his sordid array of scumbag pals. Hell, he doesn't even get to pardon the damn turkey. But on his last day in office, Pence did take the time…
Yes, it's Tuesday once more, everyone, and time for the latest instalment in our 'popular' series about uninteresting animals. This week, I've chosen a particularly uninteresting animal: the moth. Moths are exceedingly uninteresting, but this m…
A quiet night in front of the TV spent watching a movie was ruined beyond redemption for one family last night, when, in the midst of their viewing, a gruesome impostor invaded their living room, and scared the living daylights out of them. The Ke…
A man has told how his home was invaded by "millions" of flying insects that arrived shortly after dark, and buzzed obsessively around a light for hours. The scene at the home of Englishman, Moys Kenwood, was "like something out of a horror movie"...
Welcome once again to the complete and utter waste of your precious time that is 'The Wonderful World Of Uninteresting Animals', and this week's subject, after many requests from readers, is the housefly. It was going to be the Kestrel, but isn't...
A giant red spider caused a certain amount of alarm yesterday, when it crawled out from under the toilet seat and over the legs of a man who was taking a crap. The man, Bruce Warner, a resident of Crook Springs in western Australia, had raced to h...
A man who was sleeping in his bed in the Thai capital of Bangkok, became alarmed when a stabbing pain in his penal column caused him to sit bolt upright and shout: "Aaaaaagh! Fuuuckinellll!" Moys Kenwood, 52, had returned home from work in a st...
For millenia, humans have had to contend with annoying insects buzzing and biting and crawling amongst us. From wasp stings to spiders in the bath, from bed bugs to flies everywhere. Finally, the war is nearing an end. Reports from around the worl...
The world is still recovering from a shock caused by the latest scientific report claiming that all insects may be extinct by the end of the century, which will result in a collapse of the planetary ecosystem. In an effort to plant a seed of opti…
Living in a hectic world in which many pride themselves on being so busy that there’ll be “no flies resting on them” has made for rather a tough row to hoe for Nashville fly, Freddie Diptera. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m busy, too,” said Freddie. "I'...
The House of Commons is to be fumigated after a Rees-Mogg was discovered in the main chamber. Although only one of the insectoids was found, it is thought to be part of a breeding pair. Rees-Moggs are a member of the genus Privilegius Conservatus,...
In the very first case of its kind, a man in Battambang has discovered a millipede that actually has what its name suggests it should have - 1,000 legs! Moys Kenwood, 55, was in his bathroom taking a dump, when a chance glance at the floor, mid-c...
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