Washington, D.C.- Vice President, Mike Pence, doesn't get the broad powers to pardon prison sentences for his sordid array of scumbag pals. Hell, he doesn't even get to pardon the damn turkey. But on his last day in office, Pence did take the time…
Yes, it's Tuesday once more, everyone, and time for the latest instalment in our 'popular' series about uninteresting animals. This week, I've chosen a particularly uninteresting animal: the moth. Moths are exceedingly uninteresting, but this m…
A quiet night in front of the TV spent watching a movie was ruined beyond redemption for one family last night, when, in the midst of their viewing, a gruesome impostor invaded their living room, and scared the living daylights out of them. The Ke…
A man has told how his home was invaded by "millions" of flying insects that arrived shortly after dark, and buzzed obsessively around a light for hours. The scene at the home of Englishman, Moys Kenwood, was "like something out of a horror movie"...
Welcome once again to the complete and utter waste of your precious time that is 'The Wonderful World Of Uninteresting Animals', and this week's subject, after many requests from readers, is the housefly. It was going to be the Kestrel, but isn't...
A giant red spider caused a certain amount of alarm yesterday, when it crawled out from under the toilet seat and over the legs of a man who was taking a crap. The man, Bruce Warner, a resident of Crook Springs in western Australia, had raced to h...
A man who was sleeping in his bed in the Thai capital of Bangkok, became alarmed when a stabbing pain in his penal column caused him to sit bolt upright and shout: "Aaaaaagh! Fuuuckinellll!" Moys Kenwood, 52, had returned home from work in a st...
For millenia, humans have had to contend with annoying insects buzzing and biting and crawling amongst us. From wasp stings to spiders in the bath, from bed bugs to flies everywhere. Finally, the war is nearing an end. Reports from around the worl...
The world is still recovering from a shock caused by the latest scientific report claiming that all insects may be extinct by the end of the century, which will result in a collapse of the planetary ecosystem. In an effort to plant a seed of opti…
Living in a hectic world in which many pride themselves on being so busy that there’ll be “no flies resting on them” has made for rather a tough row to hoe for Nashville fly, Freddie Diptera. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m busy, too,” said Freddie. "I'...
The House of Commons is to be fumigated after a Rees-Mogg was discovered in the main chamber. Although only one of the insectoids was found, it is thought to be part of a breeding pair. Rees-Moggs are a member of the genus Privilegius Conservatus,...
In the very first case of its kind, a man in Battambang has discovered a millipede that actually has what its name suggests it should have - 1,000 legs! Moys Kenwood, 55, was in his bathroom taking a dump, when a chance glance at the floor, mid-c...
Spanish footballers are reportedly terrified of the nasty looking Creepy Crawlies that live in Brazil's World Cup grass. From an early age Spanish footballers have seen Daddy Long Legs in Spanish grass, which is similar to Rain Forest grass. Supe...
Los Angeles, CA (STT News) - People of the world - learn to like bugs. That's the message recently released by Dr. Falter O. Longer, director of the USC's Elitist Longevity Institute. The study by the institute states clearly that things like meat,...
NORFOLK, Virginia - Snails have been around just about as long as flies, spiders, and pill bugs, but unlike those three insects the number of snails has decreased by 37 percent in just the past three years. Insect experts state that this is due to...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Vice-President Joe Biden has just made an announcement to the White House Press Corps. He said that he was told by the White House gardener that every single tree located on The White House grounds is infested with the pesky, no...
A team of scientists at France's Lyons University has found that houseflies, just like humans, fall in love and live in twosomes. Unlike humans though who often remarry after the death of a spouse, houseflies find the loss of a partner so immense...
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