Suds ‘n duds op launders Kavanaugh

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Wednesday, 3 October 2018

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Mr. Kavanaugh inside the Suds 'n Duds wash cycle

With the FBI Investigation ending at any moment, analysts now believe Mr. Kavanaugh's confirmation to the Supreme Court can move right ahead.

Given the limitations to the FBI, as with a time-limit of one week, the likelihood is: Candidate AOK.

However, analysts indicate that Mr. Kavanaugh will need further sprucing-up following his confirmation, due to the midterms.

Hence, to “a suds ‘n' duds operation” (run by Kav4 Inc), and to its "Seek and Hide” scrub-down-the-candidate program.

Kav4 also manufactures detergent--specifically "Hide Detergent--Cleaner! Whiter! Special Bleaching Additives!"

Inside “Suds ‘n' duds” headquarters, gigantic machines (by ordinary laundromat standards) whirl and scrub the candidate, then whirl and dry him.

Thus, Mr. Kavanaugh recently inserted himself into one of these gigantic chrome machines through its front porthole.

He then whirled for twenty-three minutes with the water temperature setting on HOT.

Mr. Kavanaugh responded: “No problem. I’m tough.”

The worst part of the operation immediately followed inside a gigantic drier apparatus mounted by step ladder.

He whirled there for thirty minutes, drying thoroughly, but not without reddening cheek, blistered lip, and moistening forehead.

This Suds 'n' Duds combined laundering procedure is guaranteed to produce the following effects:

*stain and spot removal

*character imperfection buffing

*reputation cleansing

*temperament shining and improvement

*evasion polishing and bleaching

*straightening, folding, and smoothing

Mr. Kavanaugh emerged from this procedure ready to face the next years as a Supreme Court Justice serving truth, honesty, and wise policy for The American Republic.

Note: During these laundering procedures for this Seek and Hide Operation, music played inside this Suds ‘n' Duds Laboratory.

Observers could hear parody of an old Ajax Detergent commercial from the 1950's:

“Use Hide! the foaming cleanser!
Wash the dirt right down the drain!”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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