Judge Kavanaugh accused of expanding the classic “4 F’s” to “6 F’s”

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Monday, 24 September 2018


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Judge Kavanaugh accused of expanding the classic “4 F’s” to “6 F’s”
From survey of young women on this issue: "Men need to control themselves and stop thinking about us that way"

Mr. Kavanaugh’s troubles continue to mount as this week new accusations have surfaced from a) a new female accuser and b) Stormy Daniels’ lawyer Michael Avenatti.

Mr. Avenatti, who also aspires to candidacy in the 2020 presidential election, claims yet another woman will soon step forward to testify against Mr. Kavanaugh.

This further witness is additional to the latest female accusation from Ms. Deborah Ramirez, emerging Sunday night.

Ms. Ramirez updates the charges on Mr. Kavanaugh from high school to Yale a few years later.

She claims she was confronted with a penis in her face, and that she was forced to “touch” it against her consent.

The hallways at the party thenceforth, according to Ms. Ramirez, rang with the news that Brett Kavanaugh “just put his penis in Debbie’s face!”

However, it is Mr. Avenatti’s undocumented claim of the expansion of the “4 F’s” phrasing that even more seriously raises the question on Judge Kavanaugh's purity.

So far, the case has boiled down to a consideration of the usual strict morality of adolescents while under a head of alcohol--vs. a wildness too far.

As with:

Mr. Avenatti says Mr. Kavanaugh had written incriminating information into his yearbook from those days, as with “FFFFFFFourth of July!”

If so, this treatment of a classic phrase must bring new consideration on Mr. Kavanaugh’s resourceful mind and qualifications as Supreme Court Justice.

The classic “4 F’s” dates well back in American Adolescent Lore to “Find ‘em, Feel ‘em, F*ck ‘em, Forget ‘em.”

Many mature men will remember the adolescent boyhood glee (by other youthful males, of course, not oneself) in chanting this phrase while eyeing females in the vicinity of high school playgrounds and on school buses throughout the nation.

Mr. Kavanaugh is accused of embroidering this phrasing to the “6 F’s” at “Find ‘em, Feel ‘em, French ‘em, Finger ‘em, F*ck ‘em, Forget ‘em.”

A new survey indicates Public Relief that representatives of morality, as with Mr. Avenatti and previously Ms. Daniels with her book, have come forward.

In her writing, Ms. Daniels kindly pointed out Mr. Trump’s peculiarity in his appendage.

So far, however, with the focus on Mr. Kavanaugh, no group of females has emerged to suggest Mr. Trump waved his ungainly apparatus in their faces and demanded tactile response.

Or that he chortled any version of the “4 F’s” or the “6 F’s.”

However, this approach for Trump will emerge soon—in time for the 2020 Presidential Election, according to experts at The New York Times.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more