Written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 13 May 2018

image for Royal Wedding Flowers Row
Dandelions might have been better. Or weeds.

A row is brewing just days ahead of the Royal Wedding over the flowers selected to celebrate the occasion, with the claim that the choice of blooms could be seen as just a bit 'derogatory'

The bride and groom, Meghan Markle and Harry Windsor, who 'tie the knot' on Saturday 19 May at St George's Chapel in Windsor Castle, have opted for white garden roses, foxgloves and peonies, which, if you'll pardon me mentioning it, is a bit too close to peons for my liking.

The Prince not previously being known as being someone to 'lord it' over the untermensch classes, Harry has served in the Army, and has acted as an ambassador for the Invictus Games. Now, however, he may have shown his 'true colours' with this floral flourish.

It's just possible, though, that the Prince is completely blameless over the bizarre choice of bud. The word 'peon' is more widely-used in the informal US English with which Miss Markle would be more familiar, so perhaps it's her fault.

Foxgloves are also a curious selection. They are part of the Plantaginaceae classification, floral relatives of the Plantagenets, the royal house which originating in Anjou in France, gave us the infamous Duke of York, Richard III. If Harry and Meghan get around to producing a son, it's odds-on they will name him Richard.

Some anti-royalists have said a better choice of flower for the wedding would have been dandelions, or, indeed, some other kind of weed.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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