Written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 12 May 2018

image for Royal Wedding? I Know Nothing Of It, Claims Man In Papua New Guinea
Northern Brazil - no confetti or street parties

It's becoming clear that the Royal Wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, thought to be the 'World Event Of 2018', isn't as widely-known-about as some people had imagined, after a man in Papua New Guinea claimed he knew nothing of it.

The happy couple are to 'tie the knot' next Saturday, 19 May, and it had been imagined that the hype surrounding the wedding would have ensured that nobody on Planet Earth could have remained unaware of it.

However, a Spoof correspondent in Port Moresby, PNG, was talking to locals in a bar on Wednesday night, and asked them what their plans were with regard to watching the royal ceremony on TV. He was met with blank stares. One man said:

"I know nothing of it."

The Spoofman was agog. Clearly, the news had not permeated this part of the globe.

And, by Thursday, other instances of 'Royal Wedding ignorance' were coming to light. After Spoof newshounds penetrated deep into the Amazon rainforest, they came upon two indian women, clad only in loincloths. These women did not react when shown a photograph of Harry and Meg, and a small boy in Tierra del Fuego ran away whimpering when questioned.

In Africa, it was the same. A whole classroom of schoolchildren in Lesotho looked mystified when shown the photo of the lovebirds, whilst a family in a shanty town outside Freetown, Sierra Leone just stared back at the correspondent through glazed eyeballs, as if a Royal Wedding between two fuckwits in Great Britain - an illusory concept to these famished waifs - meant nothing whatsoever to them, faced with an unending struggle against poverty and starvation as they were.

In Greenland, not a single Inuit we asked, knew of Prince Harry's existence, let alone his wedding.

Just shows you.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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