Written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 10 May 2018

image for Christmas Day To Fall On December 25 Again This Year
Merry Christmas, everyone. It's me again, 'lording' it over you

"It's the most won-derful time - of the year!"

That's how the refrain goes, and who would argue with it, Christmastime being what it is? A time when the whole family gets together and remembers old disputes, a time for giving - and receiving - shit gifts, a time to cram as much food as we can down our throats, so that we can spend the next few months trying to work off the horrendous results, and a time for watching, for the umpteenth time the same crappy movies as you watched last year.

Plus, if you live in Blighty, there's the Queen's Christmas message, during which you'll be able to rub salt in your own wounds about how much more pleasant her Christmas is than yours.

For those who like to make plans well in advance of the festive period, the news is that Christmas Day will again fall on December 25 this year. Boxing Day will be the day after, December 26, and the new year will commence on January 1 2019. And, just in case I forget nearer the time, let me be the first to wish you all a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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