After enduring criticism for a lack of depth in foreign policy knowledge, Donald Trump has released a plan to bomb Mexico and seize their oil production facilities.
Trump spoke tuesday with CNN's Anderson Cooper about the details.
"I'm going to hire the best people and it's only going to take days or weeks to take over the oil fields in Mexico, so we don't spend so much money like we've done in the middle east."
Cooper pointed out that the Pentagon and the armed services already have the best planners and forces capable of carrying out his proposal. "Isn't that just more money spent on redundancy?" the host asked.
"Look Anderson, if they, and the Pentagon are so good why is there no plan in place to bomb Mexico? Why are we still in the middle east after 30 years? I'll hire a private security company that can do it faster and cheaper than our traditional huge military footprint. Maybe we can hire Mexicans to help us fight the Mexican government?"
Cooper laughed, saying, "Those Mexicans who fight the Mexican government are the drug cartels, surely you don't propose joining the cartels in order to take over Mexico's oil infrastructure?" Before Trump could reply Cooper added, "During the Iran hostage crisis, you also advocated bombing Iran and taking their oil, so do you have any other kind of policy tools to use when the US eventually has another conflict in the world?"
The blow dried billionaire seemed exasperated when he said, "OK, Anderson, our people, our movement gets it--it doesn't matter if we bomb Mexico or Iran--the point is we need to be respected, and if we had bombed Iran when they had our hostages, Mexico wouldn't be disrespecting us like they are now, sending us their murderers and rapists. We wouldn't even be talking about illegal immigration now if we had bombed Iran then."
Cooper asked, "So will you bomb Mexico City, or their military?"
"Bombing cities would be a humanitarian disaster, that's not the answer--and look Anderson--here's how we're going to save money under my leadership: we already have bombing ranges we need for our military to practice on, we'll just move those to the border areas, that and the new border wall will stop the illegals from ever coming over."
House Speaker Paul Ryan refused to critique Trump's plan, when reached for comment by The Spoof he only said, "We are still in the midst of the party nomination process, and we have to allow time for a further crystallization of the candidates views."