Mitt Romney Spoof News

20 September 2019

Romney To Challenge Trump in Presidential Primary

Salt Lake City, UT - United States Senator Mitt Romney has agreed to take on Donald Trump for the Republican nomination for President. "It's time for a run," announced Romney in a midnight tweet. "And I'm not talking about a quick jog around the...

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Mitt Romney's Presidential Camaign Song, Composed Before He Entered Race

Salt Lake City, Utah. As announced in The Spoof yesterday, Mitt Romney will challenge Donald Trump in the Republican primaries. His campaign song had been written even before he announced his candidacy. In a scathing Washington Post op-ed attack o...

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While World Busy Voting Ron Paul, Rompson Candidacy Coagulates

1 Sep 07 FORT WORTH, TX, USNA-- The traditional campaign-kick-off weekend here finds 200 nations distractedly voting for Ron Paul above all other candidates in bot...

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Mitt Romney Fears He Will Implode During The Debate

WINNEMUCCA, Nevada - Mitt Romney was in Winnemucca, the town that the Paiute Indians named and which means place where bison frolick with wild stallions and look silly as the dickens. "Old Mittens" confided to his GOP campaign spokesperson Cooter...

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Rick Perry Reveals That He Has Documented Proof That Mitt Romney Wears A Toupee

AUSTIN - Governor Rick Perry was in his campaign bus heading up towards Dallas on his Good Old Boy Bus Tour while listening to some music by that little old band from Texas, ZZ Top. Perry was accompanied on the tour by Pico de Gallo, a reporter wi...

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'He Who Shall Not Be Named' Causes Turbulence At Romney Headquarters

There was great tension at the Republican Campaign Headquarters that morning as the worker bees entered their office in D.C. As with every campaign, unexpected situations come up. "'He Who Shall Not Be Named'" wants to endorse Romney." stated Mitch Couler to the group, his face drawn and pained from the trials of running a difficult campaign that was getting down to the wire. "Oh my God, n...

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Former President Clinton Gives DNC Nomination Speech

Romney, desperate to find a car company to back him up, locates a dealership in Vermont

Mexico's President Tells Illegal Aliens To Vote For President Obama

Mike Huckabee: 'You'll burn in hell if you vote Obama!'

Mitt Romney Comments On The New Marvel Super Heroes Film "The Avengers"

Romney outsources campaign call centers

Trump Retweets Racist Image Of Mitt Romney As A Mexican

Mitt Romney Asked To Leave England And Go Back To Hee Haw, Massachusetts

Mitt Romney's face miraculously appears on urinal mint at WV convent!

Suggestion for Giving Debate Instructions to Presidential Candidates

Translation attained of Ann Romney's comment on tax returns: 'We've given all you people need to know'

Obama will 'Trick or Treat' dressed as Romney dressed as a clown

Paul Ryan Talks About Martha Raddatz and The V.P. Debate

WAPAKONETA, Ohio - Paul Ryan, fresh from his Vice-Presidential Debate, pulled into Wapakoneta on his Widow's Peak Vice-Presidential Campaign Bus Tour. He spoke before a crowd of independent voters that had gathered in the parking lot of Bubba Bick...

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British decide to stop moaning about the Olympics after Mitt Romney criticizes them

The British people had a dramatic change of heart last night and suddenly got behind the Olympic Games being hosted in the East of London. The incredible u-turn came after American Presidential candidate Mitt Romney questioned whether Britain was...

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Romney tells Michign audence to 'Chill out!' And they did

KALIMAZOO, MICHIGAN (ABSNN)-- Mitt Romney was heckled by an audience in this Michigan town. He tried jokes; he tried serious poetry readings; he tried shaking hands, but nothing seem to please them. So he asked them what they wanted to hear from him. They heckled him even more until he finally shouted to them to "Chill (the hell) out!" The audience sat dumbstruck. It is my humble opinion th...

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Romney in Jerusalem: "That's one wail of a wall you got there, guys!"

According to the press corps traveling with the Romney campaign the trip to Israel was to be the crowning moment of a world tour that, as yet, had been a disaster. Campaign aides breathed a sigh of relief, knowing that Israeli Prime MinisterBenja...

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Romney in Germany: "Eich Bain ein Berliner!"

US Presidential candidate Mitt Romney was in Berlin today on his world tour. He was accompanied by German chancellor Angela Merkel as he visited the Berlin Wall. The crowd was estimated at tens of thousands. Governor Romney began by saying, "Eich Bai...

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Ann Romney's Burdens of Motherhood Laid Bare

Earlier this week, former democratic lobbyist Hillary Rosen accused Ann Romney, wife of current GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney, of having "never worked a day in her life." Clearly incensed, Ann Romney took to a podium on her husband's campai...

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President Obama Makes An NBA Bet With Mitt Romney

WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama is smiling from ear-to-ear after having made an NBA bet with the man he defeated in the 2012 presidential election, Mitt Romney. President Obama said that he was sitting in the backyard at the White House enjoyin...

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Reporter kicked off the campaign trail by Mitt Romney

NASHUA NEW-HAMPSHIRE - I'm sitting down at the "Happy Pig" lunch counter café in down town Nashua New Hampshire, nursing my tenth cup of coffee while waiting for Mitt Romney to arrive. The short order cook is busy in the back flipping over egg's and bacon on a hot grill as Sally, the lone waitress in this joint, is carrying plates in both hands and serving it up to two burly looking steel workers...

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Romney to NRA: "I kil't me a pussy cat when I was only three!"

It was a crowded hall yesterday at the NRA convention when Mitt Romney, candidate for president, took the podium. Media reports indicate the assembled crowd appeared to be somewhat less than enthusiastic. Due to these circumstances and wanting to ing...

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Speech from Movie, "The American President (1985)," Rewritten for 2012 Presidentail Debates

Washington, D.C - For the last several years, Governor Romney has been suggesting that being president of this country was, to a certain extent, about character. Well having served in the position for over three years, our President will tell you without hesitation: Being President and Commander and Chief of this country "is" entirely about character. We've watched and studied the Governor's pr...

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Romney reveals more Bain Capital 'lessons for success'

New York - Republican presidential hopeful Mitt Romney says he ran out of room in a recent Wall Street Journal article in which he attempted to connect his business experience at Bain Capital with the qualities he would need to be a good president.

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Paul Ryan Does Full Spread Centerfold Photo Shoot for Playchick Magazine

The Romney presidential campaign has released a statement affirming that Vice Presidential candidate Paul Ryan has just finished shooting a full spread with Playchick Magazine. Robert Benson, an official Romney spokesman, had this to say at a press conference called to explain the campaign's latest move: "Congressman Ryan has posed for Playchick to prove, in plain sight, how dedicated he and...

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Political Facebook - President Obama and Vice-President Biden Talking About Paul Ryan

POLITICAL FACEBOOK President Obama: Hey Joey, did you see who "Old Mittens" finally picked to be his vice-presidential running mate? 8:01 a.m. Vice-President Biden: Yeah Barry, I just heard about it on CNN. And let me say that today is our lucky day. 8:05 a.m. President Obama: You got that right bud. Paul Ryan? Can you believe that out of all of the fairly good choices the old Mormon ha...

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Paul Ryan Hints That When Romney Is Elected He'll Probably Invade Denmark

NAPOLEON, Ohio - GOP vice-presidential candidate Paul Ryan was asked by GOPicky Magazine's Amos Soursuckle about the rumor floating around the Great Lakes area. The political rumor is that The Old Flip Flopper has stated that when he is elected pr...

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