White House Song and Dance Ensemble to perform the "Turkey is no turkey!" ballet at Christmas festivities

Written by joseph k winter

Sunday, 6 December 2015

image for White House Song and Dance Ensemble to perform the "Turkey is no turkey!" ballet at Christmas festivities
Breaking now: ISIS will exchange its violence for a few more oil wells and access routes in the region

Reports are emerging that Mr. Obama has been busy in his off hours in White House recreation rooms producing and directing the "Turkey is no turkey!" Christmas ballet.

The upcoming ballet is designed for conviviality, joy, getting White House ducks in a row, and "much happy discussion following" at a secure auditorium near the White House.

The theme of the ballet arises from Mr. Obama's decision to provide a second rousing defense of Turkey, supporting President Recep Erdogan, in response to Russia's recent charges there is something funny in the state of Turkey.

The first show of US solidarity for Turkey arose speedily when Turkey shot down a Russian warplane entering its airspace November 24 across a finger of Turkish territory for either 5 or 12 or 17 or zero seconds, according to various sources.

Mr. Obama assured the world that every nation has a right to defend its airspace, even though mission details were passed to both Turkey and the US ahead of time.

But this second matter--on ISIS routing oil through Turkey, in complicity with President Erdogan's son--has brought the need for a more serious response.

The result is Obama's special Christmas ballet, "Turkey Is No Turkey!"

Program notes indicate the US thus far has no intelligence on this business of ISIS oil being received and managed in Turkey by kin of Mr. Erdogan or anyone else.

Furthermore, the photographic evidence--although admitted as valid by US experts and reported in The Guardian as far back as last July--has not yet been absorbed by the State Department.

The "Turkey is no turkey!" ballet will feature dancers garbed as oil trucks carrying oil stolen by ISIS across Turkey--without stopping at border crossings--to ports which load tankers bound to Israel and such places.

Ballerinas in white will play aerial surveillance. Their lyrics assert they have been unable to see movement or any sign of oil truck convoy anywhere below on the landscape.

With orchestral effects rising, Mr. Obama then takes center spotlight with his famous swivel maneuver on the tips of his toes--twirling magnificently as ballerinas bow and spread their arms in welcome.

From the rear, gradually emerging, a dark figure on what looks like a throne slowly slides forward--the throne apparently on rails--to represent Mr. Erdogan.

The male chorale now prevails--at times in falsetto--that an investigation is pending, and that the charges, frankly, are ridiculous and beneath the dignity of any nation's leader to respond to.

This part of the performance will be emphasized by the male chorale in its deepest basso profundo, intoning: "Ri-dic-u-lous! Ree-dic-you-lusss!"

Intermission will feature cream puffs and ginger ale.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more