Written by rvler9201

Friday, 4 December 2015

image for Obama Orders American Flag Lowered to Half-Staff in Anticipation of Next Mass Shooting

WASHINGTON--Noting it was best to "get a jump on this thing," President Obama ordered a preemptive lowering of the nation's flags to half-staff in anticipation of the next mass shooting to befall the country Friday.

"At this juncture, I feel that it is prudent to keep the America's flag posts at a state of constant readiness, to save us the trouble of having to raise and re-lower the flags every time this happens," Obama said during a statement delivered at the Rose Garden. "I would like to add that if the nation's flag-owners wish to keep their flags at half-staff for the foreseeable future, it would spare everyone a great deal of time and energy from going through this process every few weeks or so."

The President concluded by noting that should the occasion arise when all Americans should proudly fly their flags at full-staff he would "let [them] know."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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