Written by Auntie Matter

Tuesday, 2 December 2014

image for Washington Fury over "Freedom" Speech.
Now you see them. Now you don't!

Washington: Fury erupted yesterday in the House of Representatives as Wisconscin's Paddy O'Shea addressed 435 members concerning a bill he had proposed that never made it past the first hurdle. This is what he said:

"First of all, the blessed Oversight Committee refused to give this bill their blessing. When you hear it, you will understand why. (Shouts of "sit down!" etc)... because both Parties of this House are paid hirelings of a corrupt regime and the purpose of my bill, (shouts and jeers)... that you will not now be voting on... was to do something about that. Mr. President and House members I contend that the notion of 'freedom' promulgated by education, films, the media, our culture in general is a form of diabolical conditioning that threatens to bring havoc not only to us but to the rest of the world. Freedom is not what we are taught it is. Freedom is not doing what you want... to whoever you want, whenever you want, however you want,... for whatever you want. (Shouts and jeers. A few skirmishes erupt in the benches and security officers are summoned to quell the riot. Many are led protesting from the chamber.) How the truth hurts, ladies and gentleman. See for yourself!

This barbaric notion of freedom is a totally erroneous and devastating falsehood. It needs to be eradicated from our society as soon as possible and an amendment defining it clearly be added to our Constitution. Crime we were taught by our parents does not pay. Only those who get caught say that. The rest who don't... and many of them have just now been led out of this House, (jeers and shouting)... they know full well it is the ONLY thing that pays. From the crooked lawyer, judge, accountant, senator, drug pusher and military mogul... (boos and jeers. Another set-to between reps erupts at the back of the hall with objects being hurled at the speaker. O'Shea waits unperturbed until order is restored.).

This is how we live our lives and we believe it is how we should live our lives and this madness we sell at home and abroad as a fiction called American 'freedom'. Our youth trash their own lives in the name of this myth and are encouraged by the film industry and media gurus to do so. Suitably conditioned they are sent overseas to die trashing the lives of others to protect the accursed lie... while their president goes on speaking eloquently about it over their graves, (furious shouting and boos).

Godless Liberals without conscience promote it (shouts and protests and more fisticuffs as security are again called. O'Shea continues regardless. Calls for the meeting to be adjourned are ignored by the President of the House)... because lawlessness is what it actually is. Amoral delinquency masquerading itself as individual freedom strengthens what Emperor O'Bama calls the "rule of law". We are not animals that need to be corralled by a "rule of law" by which he means the rule of "force". We are human beings in voluntary association being turned into animals for the sake of a lie protected by the "rule of law". Women are seduced into being objects by powerful men who have little claim to being anything else. Freedom, real freedom has nothing to do with any of it.

My proposed amendment to the constitution was to clarify what is meant by freedom so that there could be no wilful misinterpretation of it such as that used by your Oversight Committee.

Here is my definition that I had foolishly expected would have had a fair hearing at least. I hope the three you left here will give it your full attention. Freedom is first and foremost the right to freedom of expression. That is what the vote, your vote, my vote is about. Without freedom of expression democracy is simply impossible.

People have the right to work for the welfare and betterment of themselves and their families but not at the expense of others and in full moral consciousness of the possible effects of their actions on others. Freedom is working for self and others for the betterment of the mental, spiritual and physical well being of all. Freedom is the right to defend oneself... but only when and if attacked, not on the basis of opportunism, fantasy or paranoia. Freedom derives from the singular fact that every man, woman and child on this planet has a right to live, to freedom of movement and the enjoyment of life; and not a single person has more natural claims to the produce of this earth, or of the people on it, than another. Nor has anybody any more claim than another to happiness, respect or love. Thank you. (Cheers and a standing ovation from all three).

A video recording of this meeting scheduled to be televised later that evening was "postponed indefinitely" said a House spokesman. Mr. O'Shea was set upon as he left the building by persons unknown and is presently receiving medical attention for serious injuries inflicted. No arrests have been made.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!





Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
46 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more