Brawl Breaks out on 'Ladies Only' Bus, Driver Hospitalized

Written by Gail Farrelly

Sunday, 14 February 2010


The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Let the games begin!

The maiden voyage of this special bus on Fifth Avenue in New York City did not turn out as harassment free as planned, when two of the -- um, ladies -- had an argument about which of them had gotten the better bargain at Saks Fifth Avenue.

Pow! One of them socked the other, who quickly returned fire, knocking the original combatant flying onto the lap of an eighty-year-old matron. The two women continued the battle with punches, kicks and even a few bites. Next stop: 911 emergency!

On 34th Street, the male bus driver stopped the bus and attempted to intervene in the dispute. Big mistake! He managed to get in between both women but was then pummeled on both sides and ended up with a concussion, three broken ribs, and a bruised groin. A very bruised groin. "Who said they are the weaker sex?" he whispered, as he was carried to the waiting ambulance.

Refusing to be identified because she feared retribution from one or both of "those wild women," a traumatized twenty-something passenger said in a trembling voice that all she had been looking for was a nice, peaceful, grope-free ride. "Believe me," she said, "a little grope or two would have been nothing compared to this!"

The eighty-year-old matron mentioned earlier was fortunately uninjured. And she took the whole experience in stride. "I'm sorry there were injuries," she said, "but I have to admit it was the most exciting shopping expedition I've ever had. It was like the wild west re-incarnated, right here on Fifth Avenue!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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