Chelsea and England footy star John Terry has been reading Bill Clintons 100 favourite quotes and has decided to adopt one of Bill's favourite clangers.
Terry had an affair with one of his ex-colleagues girlfriend, was thick enough to forget his condom and she got "up the spout" (pregnant for our non cockney and US readers, whose John Terry they ask?).
Now John in his wisdom (not a great amount of that is ever given to pro-footballers) has decided to admit too the act but, swears it was not sex!
"She just wanted a baby and I obliged, nothing more and that's certainly not having sex!"
John's missus thinks otherwise and has filed for divorce and his ex-colleague, Wayne Bridge, has threatened to break both of his legs the next time they meet.
As for Terry he wishes to thank Bill Clinton for offering him this great advice and hopes that the world, the paparazzi, the tabloids, his team mates and his shocked missus will understand this totally honest, sacrificial, virtuous deed that he fulfilled in getting this Bimbo pregnant.
John Terry has been in touch with Tiger Woods and offered him the same advice: read a Clinton.
