Barack Obama requests Surge to stop violence in Chicago

Funny story written by Francine Fishpaw

Monday, 8 September 2008

image for Barack Obama requests Surge to stop violence in Chicago
Gen. Petraus "Our men are frightened to enter Chicago".

Reports came out that more people were murdered in Barack Obama's Chicago than U.S. soldiers have died in Iraq and Afghanistan this summer. There were a record 125 murders in Chicago.

A CBS affiliated station reported that in fact the number of murders in Chicago were double the deaths of U.S. service men and women in Iraq and Afghanistan this summer. Police in the Windy City have asked to carry AK-47s.

Presidential candidate Barack Obama called for U.S. troops to be recalled from Iraq and quickly sent to the streets of Chicago to stop the insurgent gangs and terrorists.

Vice-Presidential nominee Joe Biden also has requested that the city of Chicago be redrawn and split into three separate communities to quell all the violence. Biden had proposed the same for Iraq, but no one took him seriously.

Obama stated "We cannot cut and run from Chicago and we cannot let the insurgents win. I thought for sure I had corrected all the communities' problems when I was in Chicago as a Community Organizer, but we will have to deploy our troops into the bowels of madness".

Gen. Petraus replied "Chicago is more dangerous than Iraq and our troops are more frightened to enter the Southside of Chicago than to enter Fallujah. Besides we don't know if we have enough funds to handle the mess in Chicago"?

Obama stated that he will ask for more funding to deploy the military in a Surge in his hometown of Chicago from Oprah Winfrey, who has more money than the U.S. government. Obama is certain he can get more funding for the Surge in the worst and deadliest parts of Chicago from Winfrey. Obama said "Don't worry I got her in the back of my pocket. All I have to do his show her a meatball sandwich and she goes bonkers".

When the question of the Chicago Surge was asked of Senate leader Harry Reid, he cried "Chicago is Lost".

Our news agency was the only media covering Obama's request for the Chicago Surge because the rest of the media were to busy trying to dig up dirt on Sarah Palin's 7 year old daughter Piper.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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