Palin Makes Afghan Combat Jump, Pisses Off Oprah!

Funny story written by Morse

Sunday, 7 September 2008

image for Palin Makes Afghan Combat Jump, Pisses Off Oprah!
Sarah Palin Jumps into Afghanistan, Ready to Kick ASS!

Somewhere in Afghanistan/Reuters - VP Candidate Sarah Palin continued to wow US voters as she made an unannounced jump into a Special Forces base camp here in the foothills between Afghanistan and the Taliban route to Pakistan.

She was immediately mobbed my members of the 5th Special Forces Unit that has been manning this bastion of interdiction trying to contain the unopposed flow of terrorists and supplies from Pakistan.

Capt. Nick Neumann, head of the beleaguered Green Berets, said it was a clean jump and she landed on both feet among sniper fire from the hills. "I couldn't have done it better myself, " the 28 year old Neumann said," she hit the ground, controlled her chute and made it to the bunker while we returned suppressive fire."

A slightly out of breath Palin said she was here on the behalf of the American people to boost morale among troops, get to the bottom of the corrupt Afghan regime, and let the Pakistanis know they better get off their ass and give the free world a hand. Armed with her .44 Smith & Wesson side arm, and carrying a modified M-15 assault rifle, Palin also brought a supply of Moose Jerky to share with the cheering troops.

"This is the best thing since Bob Hope", one combat veteran said,"not only is she better looking than Raquel Welsh, but she can kick ass!"

Gov. Palin said she was not concerned that billionaire talk show host and Obama mega supporter, Oprah, may change her mind about having her on her popular TV show. "I don't have a book to sell, I am not a faith healer, and I am definitely not an enabler....why would I want to appear anyway? "

A spokesperson for Oprah said officially the Diva was unconcerned, but that privately she was highly pissed off that she was being upstaged by the gritty mother of 5. Future plans for the show include booking 25 of the most vapid female tabloid stars, plus George Clooney, speaking out for Obama in order to counter Palin's popularity.

Efforts to contact Democratic VP candidate Joe Biden were unsuccessful. A spokesman for the Senator said he was busy working out on his tread mill, and the Doctor treating his hair affliction said he advised the Senator against any strenuous activity that may threaten his manly image.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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