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Funny satire stories about lightning

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President Trump Struck By Lightning While Playing Golf

President Trump is in critical condition at Bethesda Medical Hospital after being struck by lightning at 3:14pm at his Mara Lago Golf Course in Palms Springs Florida today. He was on the 9th hole when a light drizzling rain began to fall as the le...

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Lightning Strikes Montana Man For The 8th Time

Funny story: Lightning Strikes Montana Man For The 8th Time

MISSOULA, Montana - A ranch fence mender from Missoula, Montana has to be the luckiest man in the entire world. Guggenheim "Sparky" St. Parrot, has the distinction of having been struck by lightning a total of eight times. St. Parrot works mend...

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Ferguson is Sith Lord, FA report finds

Funny story: Ferguson is Sith Lord, FA report finds

A report by the Football Association has accidentally stumbled across information indicating that Sir Alex Ferguson is a Sith. The governing body was forced to launch an inquiry after various premiership clubs alleged that he had the ability to in...

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Nix-names banned from Defence Procurements

Funny story: Nix-names banned from Defence Procurements

Amid concerns that the new F35 'Lightning II' fighter jet can be exploded by lightning, and that the 'Rivet Joint' aircraft may be barely airworthy the armed forces have now been instructed to adhere to a stricter naming convention. Cuthbert Pomfr...

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Local Millionaire Offers Reward for Quieter Lightning Storms

Funny story: Local Millionaire Offers Reward for Quieter Lightning Storms

Boca Grande, Fl - A local man has offered a $200,000 reward to anyone who can find a way to make quieter thunderstorms. Morty Shafter, who describes himself as a retired marine biologist from New York, offered the reward after discovering Flo...

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Electrified Testicles Explain UFO Sightings

Funny story: Electrified Testicles Explain UFO Sightings

Boffins worldwide have been stunned by findings that suggest flying saucers can be explained by distressed male organs. Professor Cletus X Scrotum, of the Institute of Weird Science at Harvard, has been studying the phenomenon of UFOs for years an...

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TV Giraffe Hamley (RIP) sticks his neck out too far and is struck by lightning!

Funny story: TV Giraffe Hamley (RIP) sticks his neck out too far and is struck by lightning!

The popular TV giraffe called Hamley (RIP) stuck his neck out once too far, got struck by lightning and is now a stiff long-necked "stiff" giraffe. The freak accident happened on a Safari park in South Africa where Hamley was busy chewing on his f...

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Lightning Victim Says He Prefers Hades to Hell

Funny story: Lightning Victim Says He Prefers Hades to Hell

Long thought to be different names for the same eternal and fiery destination, Florida pornography producer, polygamist and convicted drug smuggler, Bernie Smurphwank says "not so". During a recent golf event, Smurphwank was struck by lightning on t...

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"Touchdown Jesus" Slain While Seeking Medical Attention

After an hours-long standoff outside a hospital in Southwestern Ohio, it appears that the much beloved icon "Touchdown Jesus" has died from wounds inflicted by local police and sheriffs' deputies, as well as a National Guard unit that was called to t...

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Jesus Guilty Of Arson?

A 19 metres tall and 12 metres wide statue of Jesus Christ no longer stands after Jesus' relative, Mother Nature, was alleged to have been called in to "strike it down". In Ohio, locals were at a loss why a lightening strike choose there treasured...

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Lincoln Memorial Comes To Life After Lightning Bolt Strike

Funny story: Lincoln Memorial Comes To Life After Lightning Bolt Strike

Columbus Day tourists to the famed Lincoln Memorial fled in terror as the famous statue rose from it's perch after an errant lightning bolt struck it. Rising to a height of 28 feet tall, the bewildered behemoth lumbered forth smashing the Doric co...

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Bored Spoof Writer Explains Lightning

Funny story: Bored Spoof Writer Explains Lightning

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - With the cause of lightning supposedly still a matter of debate, and with theories ranging from the laughable to the somewhat plausible, San Francisco Onion staff writer and physicist Ginger Steele decided to weigh in on the matte...

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Miss California Silenced by Inexplicable Lightning Strike

Funny story: Miss California Silenced by Inexplicable Lightning Strike

SAN DIEGO, CA - Reigning Miss California Carrie Prejean is convalescing at Sharp Memorial Hospital in San Diego after being felled by a freak lightning strike this afternoon. Police have launched a full investigation into the incident after police...

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iPods, lightning and "heavy metal" incur wrath of God, claims New England Journal of Medicine

Funny story: iPods, lightning and "heavy metal" incur wrath of God, claims New England Journal of Medicine

Los Angeles, California - The New England Journal of Medicine warns iPod users this week not to tempt fate in these final days as we wait upon the judgment by wearing iPods, during a thunderstorm and especially while listening to 'heavy metal,...

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White Lightning by Billy Bob Browning

White lightnin', it is really gud, Ah make and drink it like ah shuld.

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Bush Speech

You are the one. (Lightning)...

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Breaking news…

Trump Jr. Says That He Always Wanted to Be Separated From His Parents

That's why he can't understand the consternation at the border with kids being taken from parents.
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