A recent report from the Institute of Historical and Bibliographical Studies (I.H.B.S) has found that Eve never existed. Scientist Robert Van Vinkel has been able to develop a DNA sequence from protons and neutrons obtained from original toilet paper from the Garden of Eden.
From this he has been able to identify two separate male sequences and no female. "This proves that there was in fact no women in the garden of Eden" said Van Vinkel. "Woman probably developed as a result of some weird experiment carried out by Adam and Steve one day when they were bored and not by God which would explain the difficulties that woman have in carrying out simple tasks."
One of the main implications of the research suggests that God intended men to be gay as he did not create women. A member of the Gay Bible Lovers (GBL) said "Well darling I'm soooo not surprised, God's the biggest poof of them all!"
A representative from the League against Science and for the Bible said that "We all know science is made up by little monkey shaped rats who live in bird cages and we should pay absolutely no attention to this report especially as it comes from someone with such a stupid name. Instead we should respect the bibles teachings, after all its been around for thousands of years and is 100% truthful."