Long ago, during the days of the Dark Lord, also known as the Olden Times, there was a saying: do not trust anyone over 30. Now, in this brave new century, all has reversed. We’re in the Looking Glass World here, people. Now, anyone under the a…
The British government announced that we won’t be following the EU’s lead in updating new computer equipment to have USB C ports. Hurray! As everyone knows, USB C ports are an evil plot by the anti-British European Parliament to make things ea…
BILLINGSGATE POST: The clean energy crisis is over. Toss away your solar panels and windmills. Cease the research on nuclear fission and hydrogen. Today, with much fanfare, President Biden proudly unveiled a sketch of a revolutionary source of en…
When we were in college, the Cuban Missile crisis and the draft scared the bejesus out of Americans and inspired this joke: What do you do in case of fallout? Stick it back in and shorten the stroke. Much the same advice is proffered today by comp…
There was consternation earlier today, when, quite without warning, and totally unexpectedly, a man who was using his phone to browse the internet received a notification that amounted to a: 'Data Usage Warning' Recovering from the initial shoc…
A staunch technophobe, who hasn't moved with the times, has claimed that his two young children are both technophiles, and that their knowledge and confidence when using machines is so far in advance of his own, that they have labeled him a technodip…
A man who uses a Smartphone to make telephone calls, send emails, browse the internet, and to see what kind of crap his family and friends have been up to on Facebook, has been told by his device that his data isn't backed up. Quite what this mean…
Residents of Swindon, seeing the benefits of not engaging with social media, ‘Technobreaking’, are currently the hottest trending subject - not that residents of Swindon are aware of it. Relationship counsellor Angel Elphinstone has been telling c…
Rumours that MACA will be launched this fall to maintain the recently boosted share price of various tech companies, cannot be found anywhere on the internet. ‘I have nothing to do with any ‘track, trace and destroy’ software that eliminates infor…
SAN FRANCISCO - Several experts in the computer technology field learned of Google having an AI which achieved Self-Awareness, soon after the event occurred. For the most part, developers who were involved in the research kept all of their informatio…
When Elon Musk announced his plans to create a time machine back in April of 2016, many in the scientific community were skeptical of the entrepreneur’s ability to take on such a formidable task. Despite the reservations, many in attendance at the pr...
The DEA has always been at the forefront of technological advancements when it comes to fighting the drug trade. And while not every project sees the light of day, like the exploding weed joint that permanently stops a drug addict from ever smoki...
Annoying, pesky, and intrusive describe those constant phone calls that torment our lives every day. Using a method called spoofing, these calls can appear as if they are coming from your local area code. When you attempt to answer, you may hear a re...
To the relief of many determined to believe in God, despite the lack of evidence of any participatory deity who intervenes in any noticeable way in the workings of the human world, Christian theologian Dr. Mortimer Lane of Nashville, Tennessee, has o...
A man who could, in no way, be described as a technological genius, has revealed how a computer at his workplace made him so angry that he decided to murder it, and did. Larry Sabu, 52, had been working at his job in an insurance office for three...
A man who craves the return of 'the good old days', took a step down that path at the weekend, when he bought a black-and-white television set from an old woman who wanted rid of it, for £10. Moys Kenwood, 55, of Hull, is easily old enough to be a...
San Francisco, CA - Want Add Wanted: young foolish inexperienced Java Programmer willing to work with Eclipse IDE. You’ll be paid handsomely in this position, (bending over or on your knees), enough to share a room with only five other guys, or whatever things they call the natives here. Experienced need not apply. We don’t want anyone smarter than the hiring manager since he is a fr...
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