Cut to a domestic scene in the kitchen
Husband: “What’s for dinner tonight?”
Wife: “Fried cod and rice!”
Husband: “Oh my Cod! Again?” (Husband chuckles; wife groans.)
Wife: “Yes, like many wives and family members, we ALL suffer from the disease, which too often sets in once husbands become dads, called Mal-Punopathy, more commonly known as “Bad Pun Disorder,” which afflicts millions of men—and their family members—every day in the United States. But no longer do my kids and I have to endure the punishing effects of Mal-Punopathy, now that Smerck has come out with the life-changing drug Punlohvy, which has been a miracle for me, my husband, and our kids!
Now, when my hubby asks, “What’s for dinner tonight?” and I reply “Chili three ways,” he no longer smirks and says, “With whom?” He just smiles nicely and offers, “How can I help?” My kids have noticed the difference, too. ‘Well, he’s no longer babbling stupid shit that he thinks is funny,’ our sixteen year old son Alex noticed. ‘And those puns about sex he’s always making with Mom!’ said my daughter, Brianna. (“Eew! Eew!” Brianna then posted on TikTok, with a picture of her dad in his Coldplay T-shirt.)
Punlohvy can be taken once a week, unless the patient has recently watched one of the Airplane movies or Monty Python’s The Life of Brian. (Then he might want to up the dosage a bit.)
Possible side effects: In punsters taking Punlohvy, aphasia has occurred when the urge to pun is persistent. Increases in sexual activity may occur because the patient’s wife is now able to spend time with him. A throbbing funny bone may present occasional difficulties, but is rarely fatal.
Warning: Punlohvy should never be combined with marijuana or any CBD products, except under supervision.
