After an historical event has passed, those left alive may turn it into a celebration. The British have their Guy Fox Day, which celebrates an old King of Britain who finally outwitted a fox (His Queen, however, was eaten by the hounds.)
January 6th is a day that shall live in … the carnival!
All of America will celebrate, in big cities and small towns.
There will be rides and games and cotton candy for mom and dad and the kids.
There will be “Dunk the Trump”, where a Donald Trump lookalike will sit patiently and verbally abuse you, calling you fake news and a Democrat and against American Nazis … and you get to throw beanbags at a target to dunk him into a vat of his own bile!
Pin the pussy on Jared! (‘Nuff said.)
The Melania trick mirror … from one angle you look like a First lady, from another, you look like the cheapest Euro trash porn star in the world.
Rudy Giuliani bumper cars … go around and around, smashing into everything as though you’re drunk and/or demented or both, you make a lot of noise and other cars don’t want to be anywhere near you … and you get nowhere except into more and more accidents. This ride is called sponsored by Alamo Rent-A-Wreck.
Throughout carnival grounds you’ll see giant Barron Trumps walking on stilts, getting taller and taller as their heads get smaller and smaller.
Don Junior’s Cocaine-Fueled Wild Ride … spin around and around in a tea cup until your eyes are redder than your daddy’s face and you can’t lift the lower half of your mouth for all the drool spilling out of it.
Lasso Eric Trump. Like a hog, Eric – or a lookalike – will squeal and whine as he runs in circles in an enclosed pen, and you have to lasso him and rope his legs so he doesn’t try to get on a plane with a fake passport and join his daddy in Russia.
Steal candy from a baby, then evict them and their single mothers from rat-infested slum apartments, then jack their rent if they try to get back in.
Pack the Supreme Court … with crazy people, old grumpy corrupt black misogynists and his trophy behemoth corrupt skank wife, a whore for Jesus, a guy who thinks it’s 1666 and Britain has finally legalized Shakespeare, a screaming drunk Irish prick who hates and hates and hates, but loves America … and maybe a few more Nazis for good measure – or anyone else you can think of. (America put a TV star in the Oval Office … is there no lows to which they will not stoop or poop and call it a president?)
And then sell America to the highest bidder, even if that’s Russia or China, whoever has the most money. It’s about you, not your country, but make sure to deflect blame to your enemies and make yourself seem as pure as Jesus. (Who never bathed and had pubic lice … just saying ‘cuz the Bible refuses to tell the whole truth and nothing but …)
