FDA Need Volunteers to Measure Mammogram Breast Density in Women

Funny story written by UncleDale

Thursday, 9 March 2023

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Hands across America - all over your boobies

The FDA want to do breast density screening prior to a mammogram.

Weekend volunteers are needed - no cold hands please.

To make the women comfortable - older men will screen older women and younger men will screen the younger woman.

You must be comfortable handling all sizes of breasts from 'Lemon' size to 'Melon' size.

The women are behind a canvas barrier and the breasts just stick through round holes in the canvas.

There had to be extensive fondling to ascertain total breast density - also weighing them on portable scales.

A party for the volunteers and enrollees is held after the procedure.

At present - you will have to call the 1-800 telephone number as the online site crashed recently.

Your government at work.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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