Texas' Lame Duck Governor Greg "Wheels" Abbott Says a Space Ship Swooped Down and Picked Him Up - Wheelchair and All

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 1 March 2023

image for Texas' Lame Duck Governor Greg "Wheels" Abbott Says a Space Ship Swooped Down and Picked Him Up - Wheelchair and All
The space creatures said that this fuckhead is weird as shit and they quickly released his ugly, old ass.

AUSTIN - (Satire News) - A person (who is in the same "Racist League" as Adolf Hitler, George Wallace, the KKK, Hirohito, and Donald "Itsy Bitsy Fingers" Trump), namely GOPer Greg "Wheelchair Willie" Abbott, informed his chief of security Warren "Bubba" Flatwater, 83, that while he was wading in the pool of the Governor's Mansion (while sitting in his wheelchair), a spaceship suddenly swooped down and picked his bigoted wrinkled old Republican ass up (wheelchair and all).

Abbott, who is hated by 92.7% of all Texans and 89.9% of all American Republicans, said that he was so scared he did not even have time to scream.

He expressed that the space vessel was commanded by a weird space creature that looked a bit like Rudy "The Swamp Creature" Giuliani.

Greg The Dregg mentioned that even though the ride was bumpy as shit, he did manage to stay strapped onto his wheelchair.

SIDENOTE: The space beings reportedly released Abbott after he got sick to his stomach and threw up what looked to be pieces of cornbread, okra, and Vienna sausages.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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