Who doesn’t LOVE rainbows?! Ask any LGBTQ …
(uh, sorry if I forgot a letter of two, can we come up with a single word, instead of a string of letters, makes it easier, oh for the days of just “queer” and “butt pirates” and “fudge packers” and “taco chewers” and “lady golfers” and “he’s a little, you know, wink wink” and “light in the loafers” … come back, funny words, come back! … why has the world lost its humor?)
Anyway rainbows, right, right … you love rainbows and unicorns, dontcha? Rainbows are created by God’s prisms in the sky, known as raindrops. So see how good they are, all those colors, God, rain … a winning combination!
Well now you can drink rainbows! That’s right, in Ohio right now – if you’re quick – (but also possibly Florida ‘cuz something blew up there too and it spewing chemicals into the air) … now you can go to your nearest bubbling chemical creek and drink all the rainbows your stomach can handle.
Oh sure, you may projectile vomit uncontrollably for a few minutes or days, but that’s just the rainbows showing your intestines RAINBOW LOVE.
So drink up, ‘cuz the government says it’s okay – though they won’t be the first, second, or last to sample the rainbow.
Drink up, because the virus didn’t kill enough, and then the vaccine didn’t kill enough, and the war in Ukraine didn’t kill enough, and balloons didn’t kill enough, so now it’s time for train derailments and other fun methods to kill and kill and kill … with RAINBOWS!
Warning: do not take rainbows internally or externally … in fact stay the hell away from Ohio and all surrounding states and foreign nations wherever the Ohio Rainbow Wind may blow …
