Donald Trump blames Canada for GOP’s poor showing in election

Funny story written by Warrior Six

Tuesday, 15 November 2022

image for Donald Trump blames Canada for GOP’s poor showing in election
Go Trump, go! No, really, just GO.

As votes are still being counted following this year’s midterm elections, it is clear that the anticipated Republican red wall won’t materialise. Democrats have reached 50 seats in the Senate, which, with the Vice President’s deciding vote, gives them a majority, even if they lose Georgia.

Republican party leaders are said to be hopping mad, with some blaming President Trump for backing the wrong people. The cadre of rejected candidates included SpongeBob SquarePants, Eric Cartman and Butthead, whom the former President had nominated. Each was defeated in an embarrassing twist of events, with one voter expressing disbelief “It was like Trump’s candidates were cartoon characters”. Senior GOP figures were reluctant to criticise the choice on record, for fear of incurring the wrath of Donald Trump, though one said, off the record “This was like loony-toons, what the hell did Trump think he was doing? This *is* anonymous, isn’t it?”

The former President, due to announce his intention to stand for re-election in 2024, batted off all criticism, blaming the electoral defeat on Hilary Clinton, the Mexicans and the Canadian people. “Such lies and deceit”, he rambled. “So false, so false. That Sanctimonious guy from Ottawa [an apparent reference to Governor DeSantis of Texas], so sanctimonious. What a loser.”

In a related story, applications for membership of the Proud Boys, Cowboys for Trump and the Village People reached an all-time high, as more people, disgruntled at the result, wanted to show their support for Donald Trump, even though the pop group have publicly disavowed the ex-President.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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