LAKE SHIT, Alabama - (Satire News) - Alabama state troopers have just released an arrest report that shows one Cordell "Butch" Moonshine, 34, of nearby Cotton Britches, Alabama, being arrested at 3:15 am at The Confederate General Stonewall Jackson Park.
Surveillance video caught Mr. Moonshine in the process of sexually molesting a park beaver, who was believed to be a female.
Alabama state troopers who were monitoring the park cameras immediately placed a call to the Lake Shit Police Department, who quickly dispatched two police officers to the park.
When the officers arrived, they found "Butch" passionately kissing the beaver on its lips.
Officer Clem Adirondack (LSPD Badge #793602) wrote in his official police report that both Mr. Moonshine and the beaver smelled highly of alcohol.
