PHOENIX, Arizona - (Satire News) - Reports are that Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump is so upset that his choice for Arizona governor (Kari Lake) got her fat ass kicked by Democrat Katie Hobbs so damn bad, that the 363¼ pound orange volcano is now claiming that he does not know Kari Lake and he has never even met her or boinked her.
Lake, who is about as fat as Ginni Thomas, is reportedly so upset, devastated, and urinistic, that she has been placed on suicide watch by PETA (?).
Meanwhile the winner Katie Hobbs has shown the entire nation that goodness, kindness, and love of religion will prevail or evil, hate, and devil worshippers (i.e. Trump and Lake) every time. ■
