WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - Watchdog News Agency reporter Dylan Fresco, has just reported that Donald "Pinocchio" Trump has been told that he is being subpoenaed to attend a hearing so that he (the "Evil Liar") can present his story of the story on what he still thinks happened on Jan. 6, 2021.
It is really no shock, as anyone with a TV set clearly saw that Don The Racist egged on an angry mob of Proud Boys, Oath Keepers, KKKers, and Nazi's for Trump, to go to the Capitol, break in, and spray paint all of the portraits of past presidents, and to loot and take whatever they wanted as mementos, relics, and souvenirs.
One anarchist Rufus "Bubba" Flickfoot, took Nancy Pelosi's stapler and another one Elroy "Bubba" Riggywater took Mitch "The Moscow Bitch" McConnell's bottle of Preparation H.
Meanwhile Don The Fat Tub of Whale Lard (Trump) says that he will not appear to be subpoenaed.
When asked why not, he replied "Because I am as guilty as shit, and it will only hurt my already fucked up cause even more, that's why."
