Trump's Document Shredder was the Toilet

Funny story written by UncleDale

Monday, 8 August 2022

image for Trump's Document Shredder was the Toilet
Donald Trump tweets from porcelain throne, plumber on standby (artistic reconstruction)

A recent investigative report documents that Trump always spent many hours in the bathroom - sitting, and deeply pondering affairs of state, (and reading the Enquirer also).

After glancing at secret documents, he had a habit of tearing them up and flushing them. He didn't trust document shredders.

The most frequent visitor to the White House, after his Mafia friends from New York City, was the plumber.

"It was always a shitty situation," said Tony, a former staffer for Newt Gingrich - turned trusted Republican plumber. "The National Archives sent over their plumber to help me.

"Documents, Big Mac wrappers, uneaten French fires - he was a real messy guy. Same as when he was president.

"I saw nothing - the Secret Service bringing illegal immigrant Staff from Texas in the back way - nothing. Just kept my mouth shut."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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