MAR-A-LAGO, Florida - (Satire News) - The latest QuinniPinni Poll reveals that the once tall, sky-reaching Trump tree has now been reduced to a mere shell of itself with all of its branches broken off.
QP stated that Ivanka is now estranged from her predatorial, anti-American, racist sperm donor father.
Donald "Dopey" Trump Jr's wife Vanessa is now his ex-wife. And "Dopey's" golddigger girlfriend, the money and publicity seeking long-legged leech Kimberly Guilfoyle is hanging on to him by a thread.
Eric "Goofy" Trump is a member of the Space Cadets of America.
Tiffany Trump, has not spoken to her sperm donor father for months because of the horrible, hateful, heartless way that "Lard Belly" Trump treated her wonderful, sweet, actress mother, Marla Maples.
And then there's the heavy-accented Slovenian party girl, Melania, who is constantly off galivanting and jet-setting with her NBA boyfriend (you know who).
Just about the only Trump who still has not been messed up by the Big Mac Chomper (i.e. Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump) is little (?) 6-foot-5-inch Barron, whose is a product of the Trumpturd's semen and Melania's uterus.
