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Funny satire stories about Toilet

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Funny story: Man wiped arse

Man wiped arse

Geoff Shitter, 47, of Bishop's Prepuce, wiped his arse clean with toilet paper today, after taking a large dump. "Ooh, it were right satisfying," said the unemployed logger. "I barely had to squeeze at all." He said that the large turd dropped out…

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Funny story: White Lies Matter as teen, who was caught taking too long in the bathroom, learns

White Lies Matter as teen, who was caught taking too long in the bathroom, learns

Teen, Gary Crane, while visiting his aunt Martha’s house, was caught taking too long in the bathroom and, to protect her embarrassment, said he was masturbating. ‘There’s a full length mirror in there,’ said aunt Martha, ‘and I sensed he was cove…

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Funny story: Can You Get Covid-19 From A Toilet Seat?

Can You Get Covid-19 From A Toilet Seat?

Fake news report - Dozens of readers have contacted The Spoof, inquiring about the report on Fox TV and One America News that the primary transmission source for Covid-19 is a toilet seat. The Spoof, in turn, has passed that question on to the expert…

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Funny story: EastEnders episodes will be shorter and use CGI on set to compensate for social distancing - unfortunately 20 minutes will still feel like 30 minutes

EastEnders episodes will be shorter and use CGI on set to compensate for social distancing - unfortunately 20 minutes will still feel like 30 minutes

The filming of British soap EastEnders will adopt digital technology to meet social distancing requirements. Actor, Jake Woods, said: ‘CGI is amazing. I film my scenes at home sat on the toilet but with CGI it looks I’m in someone else’s home sat on…

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Funny story: Joe Biden changes his name to Joe Bidet

Joe Biden changes his name to Joe Bidet

[UPDATE WRITE-THROUGH] Joe from his basement explains the real reason he sits backwards on the toilette: “It was Cornpop. He made me do it. He chained me there, with my pool chain. He used to shave all the hair off my legs and he liked to ru…

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Funny story: Doctors Finally Admit That Women Can Get the Coronavirus From a Toilet Seat

Doctors Finally Admit That Women Can Get the Coronavirus From a Toilet Seat

CHICAGO – A team of leading Midwest doctors have just issued a medical statement which is contradicting previous statements, that had come out of Mozambique and Iceland. The team of doctors say that, after studying the Coronavirus for two months,…

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Funny story: Donald Trump To Be Used As White House Toilet Brush From November

Donald Trump To Be Used As White House Toilet Brush From November

Leading Democratic Party politicians are saying that President Donald Trump is so incompetent, that, after he loses the election this November, they plan to keep him on at the White House in a newly-created role as a Human Toilet Brush. Trump has...

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Funny story: Toilet Paper In Demand Because People Are Shitting Themselves Over Coronavirus

Toilet Paper In Demand Because People Are Shitting Themselves Over Coronavirus

A top consumer analyst has said that the reason behind the perceived madness of panic-buying toilet rolls, is that the Coronavirus and its implications have got people shitting themselves. More than they usually shit, that is. Moys Kenwood, 56,...

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Funny story: Man Uses 'Bum Gun' To Clean His Anus

Man Uses 'Bum Gun' To Clean His Anus

A man who used an Asian-style toilet has revealed how, after completing his business, he didn't use toilet tissue to clean his bottom, but, instead, utilised the hand-held water jet - known as a Bum Gun - to complete the task. In Western countries...

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Funny story: Man Pissed All Over Toilet Seat

Man Pissed All Over Toilet Seat

Cleaners were called to the scene of an incident earlier this morning, after a man who was desperate to empty his bladder, urinated all over a toilet seat, and also left a puddle of piss on the floor. The man, who cannot be named because of possib...

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Funny story: Toilet Plunger Was 'Sent From God'

Toilet Plunger Was 'Sent From God'

A man who bought a toilet plunger to be able to deal with his family's constantly-blocked toilet, has described the item as "an invaluable purchase", and "an absolute Godsend". The problem with the toilet at the home of Moys Kenwood, 56, may not h...

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Funny story: Man Was Surprised To Find Toilet Instructions On Wall

Man Was Surprised To Find Toilet Instructions On Wall

A man who urgently needed to visit the toilet in a local shopping center was surprised to discover a poster on the wall that provided diagrammatic instructions on how to use the facilities. Moys Kenwood, 56, was shopping with his family in Battamb...

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Funny story: Tim the Forgetful Badger

Tim the Forgetful Badger

Tim is a Forgetful Badger. Say hello, Tim. .... He forgot to say Hello. Tim went to the park with his friends. There was Geoffroy the Gerbil, Willy the Weasel, Sally the Stoat, and Friðþjófr the Frog. They played ball. Willy threw...

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Funny story: Cricket Fan Went To The Toilet, And Missed Second Innings

Cricket Fan Went To The Toilet, And Missed Second Innings

A crazy Test match ended in crazy fashion yesterday, as Ireland, set a total of only 182 runs to beat England, crumbled in dramatic fashion, and were all out for only 38, much to the surprise of one TV viewer who had gone to the toilet for a crap.

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Funny story: Stockholm International Airport's Anti-Terrorism Toilets Raise Eyebrows

Stockholm International Airport's Anti-Terrorism Toilets Raise Eyebrows

Those liberal-minded Scandinavians are at it again, and this time it's the Swedes, who have unveiled some rather impersonal toilet facilities to try to prevent terrorist activity at Stockholm airport. The male toilets, which can be seen above, are...

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Funny story: Britain's toilet addiction is out of control

Britain's toilet addiction is out of control

The toilet may appear to be an unassuming receptacle for our bodily waste, a friendly porcelain mouth ready to accept our vilest produce. Yet there are people for whom it can be dangerously addictive, to the point of obsession. Karen Jefferson, 47...

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Funny story: Man Caught Urinating In Gent's Public Toilets

Man Caught Urinating In Gent's Public Toilets

Police were called to an incident at Paddington Station in London at the weekend, when a 28-year-old man was arrested for urinating in a public place - the Gentlemen's conveniences located on Platform 1. Guy Court, 28, was apprehended shortly afte...

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