Those liberal-minded Scandinavians are at it again, and this time it's the Swedes, who have unveiled some rather impersonal toilet facilities to try to prevent terrorist activity at Stockholm airport. The male toilets, which can be seen above, are...
The toilet may appear to be an unassuming receptacle for our bodily waste, a friendly porcelain mouth ready to accept our vilest produce. Yet there are people for whom it can be dangerously addictive, to the point of obsession. Karen Jefferson, 47...
Police were called to an incident at Paddington Station in London at the weekend, when a 28-year-old man was arrested for urinating in a public place - the Gentlemen's conveniences located on Platform 1. Guy Court, 28, was apprehended shortly afte...
There was good news for train commuters earlier today, when it was announced that, later this year, several of the major rail operators would be introducing toilets that flush. Train companies are reacting to criticism from passengers, who say tha...
"I just keep forgetting that I don't have a todger any more," said a despondent Doctor, "and, to be frank, I rather miss my old trouser snake." The new Doctor opened up to our Entertainment Editor, Paxton Quigley, in an exclusive interview. "It...
After two and a half years of straining and pushing, Brexit is almost ready to splash down into the toilet bowl of political reality, and flushed into the sewers of history like the steaming turd of an idea that it is. Brexit has marched through t...
A toilet that was displaying an 'Out Of Order' sign was the scene of an unsavoury incident in Hull recently, when a man who was shopping in the city centre realized he was desperate for a babber. Moys Kenwood, 55, was ambling vacantly around the P...
A man travelling by air from Phnom Penh in Cambodia via Hong Kong to Manchester in England, has told how he carried out a comparison study of the toilet facilities in each of the three international airports. First, Moys Kenwood, 55, cast his eyes...
Hairy singer Art Garfunkel, 73, is best known as the eye candy in one-man folk duo Simon and Garfunkel. This week he hit the headlines for different reasons - he broke part of his pelvis after falling off the toilet. "I was pushing really hard, th...
Aging rocket Mick Elliott says he loves playing small halls and theaters these days rather than large arenas and stadiums. It’s clearly a lie he tells himself because he could never fill up an arena if he paid people to attend. “You couldn’t pay m...
Shithole, New JoiseyThom Crapper, 42, the former superintendent of a New Joisey Skool District, took a leave of flatulence—uh, absence—after he was identified as the “mystery pooper” who left “deposits” on a rival high school's track. “I couldn't hel...
High Court Sheriff enforcers have been hired to seize goods to the value of £1,765,287,432,177.59 after creditors lost faith in the UK's ability to service the national debt. Officials have just 24 hours to pay at least £800 billion by chip-and-pi...
A couple in Barrow-in-Furness have told family and friends that they are to divorce after failing to reach an amicable agreement in their decades-old dispute over their toilet seat. Malcolm and Marjery Loggerhead have been man and wife for 52 year...
It is the career "break" that stage actors have been dreaming about. Finally, a major theatrical production opened this week in London's West End featuring toilets on stage for the actors to use during the performance. "Most plays are absolute hel...
New technology startup W&P announced today that they have raised 12 million in funding from private investors. The smartphone app is fighting to become the first of its kind. W&P, which stands for Wiped and Pretty, tracks the progress of us...
Washington (SAPP) - In a strange twist of fate, the bathroom debate has come to a screeching halt. The U.S. EPA, an unlikely actor in this political saga, has settled the issue once and for all. In a blistering beat-down of the political Left and Rig...
Ode to the little turd who wouldn't be flushed! Oh little turd, of all the millions and zillions of turds that have existed in the world even in my lifetime, why oh why were you the one that refused to be flushed? Little turd,You are not all that much different from the rest...a little smaller, a little rounder and yes quite nice in texture but little turd, why you? Little turd, what made...
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