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Funny story: Toilet Paper In Demand Because People Are Shitting Themselves Over Coronavirus

Toilet Paper In Demand Because People Are Shitting Themselves Over Coronavirus

A top consumer analyst has said that the reason behind the perceived madness of panic-buying toilet rolls, is that the Coronavirus and its implications have got people shitting themselves. More than they usually shit, that is. Moys Kenwood, 56,...

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Funny story: Man Uses 'Bum Gun' To Clean His Anus

Man Uses 'Bum Gun' To Clean His Anus

A man who used an Asian-style toilet has revealed how, after completing his business, he didn't use toilet tissue to clean his bottom, but, instead, utilised the hand-held water jet - known as a Bum Gun - to complete the task. In Western countries...

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Funny story: Man Pissed All Over Toilet Seat

Man Pissed All Over Toilet Seat

Cleaners were called to the scene of an incident earlier this morning, after a man who was desperate to empty his bladder, urinated all over a toilet seat, and also left a puddle of piss on the floor. The man, who cannot be named because of possib...

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Funny story: Toilet Plunger Was 'Sent From God'

Toilet Plunger Was 'Sent From God'

A man who bought a toilet plunger to be able to deal with his family's constantly-blocked toilet, has described the item as "an invaluable purchase", and "an absolute Godsend". The problem with the toilet at the home of Moys Kenwood, 56, may not h...

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Funny story: Man Was Surprised To Find Toilet Instructions On Wall

Man Was Surprised To Find Toilet Instructions On Wall

A man who urgently needed to visit the toilet in a local shopping center was surprised to discover a poster on the wall that provided diagrammatic instructions on how to use the facilities. Moys Kenwood, 56, was shopping with his family in Battamb...

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Funny story: Tim the Forgetful Badger

Tim the Forgetful Badger

Tim is a Forgetful Badger. Say hello, Tim. .... He forgot to say Hello. Tim went to the park with his friends. There was Geoffroy the Gerbil, Willy the Weasel, Sally the Stoat, and Friðþjófr the Frog. They played ball. Willy threw...

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Funny story: Cricket Fan Went To The Toilet, And Missed Second Innings

Cricket Fan Went To The Toilet, And Missed Second Innings

A crazy Test match ended in crazy fashion yesterday, as Ireland, set a total of only 182 runs to beat England, crumbled in dramatic fashion, and were all out for only 38, much to the surprise of one TV viewer who had gone to the toilet for a crap.

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Funny story: Stockholm International Airport's Anti-Terrorism Toilets Raise Eyebrows

Stockholm International Airport's Anti-Terrorism Toilets Raise Eyebrows

Those liberal-minded Scandinavians are at it again, and this time it's the Swedes, who have unveiled some rather impersonal toilet facilities to try to prevent terrorist activity at Stockholm airport. The male toilets, which can be seen above, are...

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Funny story: Britain's toilet addiction is out of control

Britain's toilet addiction is out of control

The toilet may appear to be an unassuming receptacle for our bodily waste, a friendly porcelain mouth ready to accept our vilest produce. Yet there are people for whom it can be dangerously addictive, to the point of obsession. Karen Jefferson, 47...

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Funny story: Man Caught Urinating In Gent's Public Toilets

Man Caught Urinating In Gent's Public Toilets

Police were called to an incident at Paddington Station in London at the weekend, when a 28-year-old man was arrested for urinating in a public place - the Gentlemen's conveniences located on Platform 1. Guy Court, 28, was apprehended shortly afte...

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Funny story: Trains To Get Flushable Toilets

Trains To Get Flushable Toilets

There was good news for train commuters earlier today, when it was announced that, later this year, several of the major rail operators would be introducing toilets that flush. Train companies are reacting to criticism from passengers, who say tha...

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Funny story: Doctor Who "I Still Use Men's Toilets"

Doctor Who "I Still Use Men's Toilets"

"I just keep forgetting that I don't have a todger any more," said a despondent Doctor, "and, to be frank, I rather miss my old trouser snake." The new Doctor opened up to our Entertainment Editor, Paxton Quigley, in an exclusive interview. "It...

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Funny story: Brexit deal close to being crimped off

Brexit deal close to being crimped off

After two and a half years of straining and pushing, Brexit is almost ready to splash down into the toilet bowl of political reality, and flushed into the sewers of history like the steaming turd of an idea that it is. Brexit has marched through t...

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Funny story: Toilet Was 'Out Of Order', But Man Was Desperate

Toilet Was 'Out Of Order', But Man Was Desperate

A toilet that was displaying an 'Out Of Order' sign was the scene of an unsavoury incident in Hull recently, when a man who was shopping in the city centre realized he was desperate for a babber. Moys Kenwood, 55, was ambling vacantly around the P...

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Funny story: Man Carries Out Comparison Study Of Airport Toilet Facilities

Man Carries Out Comparison Study Of Airport Toilet Facilities

A man travelling by air from Phnom Penh in Cambodia via Hong Kong to Manchester in England, has told how he carried out a comparison study of the toilet facilities in each of the three international airports. First, Moys Kenwood, 55, cast his eyes...

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Funny story: Art Garfunkel breaks pelvic bridge over trouble passing water

Art Garfunkel breaks pelvic bridge over trouble passing water

Hairy singer Art Garfunkel, 73, is best known as the eye candy in one-man folk duo Simon and Garfunkel. This week he hit the headlines for different reasons - he broke part of his pelvis after falling off the toilet. "I was pushing really hard, th...

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Funny story: Rocker Plays to Standing Room Only Crowd in Bathroom at Fenway Park

Rocker Plays to Standing Room Only Crowd in Bathroom at Fenway Park

Aging rocker Mick Elliott says he loves playing small halls and theaters these days rather than large arenas and stadiums. It’s clearly a lie he tells himself because he could never fill up an arena if he paid people to attend. “You couldn’t pay m...

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