Texas Governor Announces Payment For Children's Caskets

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Saturday, 28 May 2022


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"I can see heaven."

Forget the need for background checks or banning assault rifles. Instead, the governor of Texas has announced that the state of Texas will pay for the caskets of children killed in their classroom by a crazed 18-year-old killer carrying two automatic AR-15 assault rifles.

Texas, the same pro-life state, is ready to make payments for children's caskets. Forget background checks. Background checks might drop gun sales. And so what if an 18-year-old wants to buy two automatic AR-15 assault rifles.

A background check might have stopped killing nineteen 4th grade students and two teachers in a Texas classroom. But they are dead.

The same Texas governor introduced a law to protect a fertilized egg. Fellow Texans may even take vigilante action if they suspect a neighbor left town to terminate a fertilized egg in an abortion-free state.

That fertilized egg has more protection than those 19 students and two teachers.

Why did the police wait 45 minutes before breaching the classroom? Are any vigilantes ready to report the police officers for their failure?

The children killed lived in Uvalde, Texas, located near the Mexican border. They were most likely bi-lingual, growing up in a double cultured environment. Imagine the possibility of a Frida Kahlo, Carlos Santana, or Selma Hayek as part of that group.

They were also what Tucker Carlson and Rupert Murdoch refer to as part of The Replacement Theory.

No background checks are necessary for rifle purchase. However, the Texas governor will provide free caskets for children.

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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