NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – Kimberly Guilfoyle, the human chewing gum (because she annoyingly sticks to guys with money, lots of money) has just revealed that the Trumptard wants to fly to the Vatican.
Apparently the twice-impeached, one-term president is hoping to beg the pope to talk to President Biden about getting him pardoned for all of the hundreds and hundreds of fucking illegal shit he did during his four years as king (ahhh make that president).
Guilfoyle, who has been rumored to have let the Predatorial Pervert get to 2nd base with her three years ago, says that she plans to call the pope and personally tell him that yes, the orange jackass knows that he’s a racist, a pervert, and a low-life douche bag, but he should be forgiven for losing the election on purpose.
SIDENOTE: Melania’s pussy-grabbing husband now says that he lost the election on purpose so that his base can get fired up and attack the senate, the Lincoln Memorial, the Smithsonian Institute, and six or nine soul food restaurants.
