BEAVER BELLY, Mississippi – (Satire News) – The US Cotton Commission has just issued a statement that has the state of Mississippi concerned as hell.
As everyone knows, cotton is to Mississippi, like beer is to Ricky Gervais, or like Big Macs are to Donald Trump, or like racism is to Ann Coulter.
So even a hint that the state could possibly be running out of cotton due to 'climate change' is enough to make every cotton grower, cotton picker, and cotton buyer in the state as nervous as a whore in church.
Boom Boom News reports that Madison Avenue, which buys billions of cotton bales a year to produce $200 jeans, $185 shirts, and $99 string bikini thong panties, is especially stressed out.
Meanwhile Vice-President Harris, has stated that she is on top of the cotton situation, and she is personally looking into the possibility of purchasing 7.2 billion tons of cotton from 'Compania de Algodon,' headquartered down in Yucatan, Mexico.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Algondon is Spanish for Cotton.]
