Mara -a -Hole, FL - After catching a whiff of Kyle Rittenhouse's fame, and the popularity of his acquittal for shooting BLM protesters, Trump has decided to claim self defense on the Capitol riot investigations.
Although no legal scholar could find any basis for claiming such a defense, Trump is calling it the Rittenhouse Law, and was even photographed defending an empty, derelict strip mall in Palm Beach with an AR-15.
The self defense plea was intended to cover his New York investigation as well, and is speculated to tie up the courts until well after he is President again, and we all live in a Kenosha-Land utopia.
Also, Trump thinks the kid's name is Carl, so let's just roll with that a while longer, ok?
