NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – The word coming out of Madison Avenue is that the Preparation H Corporation has just signed the twice-impeached, one-term former resident of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue to be the official face of Preparation H.
A spokesperson for the nation’s number one hemorrhoid company said that they picked the Trumptard for three reasons. (1) He has hemorrhoids, (2) He needs the money badly to pay for his dozens of attorneys and (3) The asshole (no pun intended) actually looks like a hemorrhoid.
Tabloid Today reporter Papaya Bamboo spoke with the predatory loser at a local McDonalds and asked him how much he was getting paid.
Trump took a bite from his third of four Big Macs and replied that he was getting paid $35,000 for filming one 30-second commercial that will air during the Super Bowl.
[PUBLISHER’S NOTE: Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump continues to lie, and lie, and lie out of his ass (pun intended). The dipshit is actually getting paid $1.3 million, but he, no doubt, will only claim $35,000 on his income tax return.]