BILLINGSGATE POST: The clean energy crisis is over. Toss away your solar panels and windmills. Cease the research on nuclear fission and hydrogen.
Today, with much fanfare, President Biden proudly unveiled a sketch of a revolutionary source of energy that creates more energy than it uses.
Developed by his drug addled son, Hunter, this ingenious device uses a rat (Rattus norvegicus) on a treadmill to turn a fan that propels a bowling ball that tips a dishpan of water onto a paddle wheel that connects to a belt that regenerates the treadmill, completing a perfect loop that keeps the rat’s legs moving, neither dissipating the rat’s energy or creating noxious CO2 discharge unless the rat inadvertently farts.
A perpetual motion machine was first envisioned by Leonardo de Vinci in 1507. Although the First Law of Thermodynamics states that energy cannot be created or destroyed, only transformed from one form to another, a perpetual motion machine would have to produce energy without energy input. Hunter Biden avoided this potential pitfall by using the rat on a treadmill and finding a way to reharness the dissipated energy by creating the perfect loop as depicted in his drawing; which by the way, sold for a paltry $500,000 last week at auction.
Dr. Slim: “Whatever Hunter is smoking, I want some.”
Dirty: “Yo, Dr. Dude. Count me in.”