Judge Baraitser revealed as Valerie Thighborg from Julian Assange's past

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Saturday, 23 October 2021

image for Judge Baraitser revealed as Valerie Thighborg from Julian Assange's past
Valerie Thighborg back in the days of Julian in the Ecuador Embassy

With the hunt for Julian Assange closing toward the October 27 and 28 hearings, the latest news outrages the ears of all followers of this case.

The late October hearings will be an effort to defeat the UK's Judge Baraitser from preventing extradition of Assange.

Some months ago, she ruled that extradition could lead to Mr. Assange's attempt at self-harm. Therefore. he would remain at Belmarsh Prison.

American authorities seek to reverse this decision.

However, a CIA official (anonymous) has emerged to blow the whistle in various directions, although its shrill sound does contain some apparent contradictions.

Who would have guessed that Vanessa Baraitser, the UK judge preventing extradition, was none other than Valerie Thighborg, of Mr. Assange's history, prior to his arrest and confinement in Belmarsh Prison?

"One and the same," this CIA whistleblower intoned, with lowered forehead and raised eyebrows.

That is, Ms. Thighborg frequently attended Mr. Assange while in the Ecuador Embassy at the time Rafael Correa was president of that country.

Reports from embassy staff of that moment suggest that when the door closed on the couple in Mr. Assange's quarters the relationship could not be dismissed as “merely supportive.”

When a certain moaning sound emerged from Mr. Assange's quarters, alarm for his health was quickly replaced via a search in Google for “love sounds of the isolated and confined by order of the law.”

Discovery of Judge Baraitser as Mr. Assange's amour previously may make all the difference in the upcoming hearings.

This, the CIA agent said, despite some problems with the CIA case, that could suggest obstruction of justice.

That is, it is now known that a key witness, Sigurdur Ingi Thordarson, convicted on fraud and pedophile charges, was lying in his indictment against Assange—that Assange pressured Chelsea Manning into hacking a government computer.

Second, Yahoo News has revealed that Mike Pompeo, previously Secretary of State under Trump, was so obsessed with Assange he attempted to arrange a shoot-out in the streets of London, wherein Assange would be (officially) assassinated.

“But with this news of Vanessa Baraitser as Assange's lover . . .” the CIA source said, “well, here we have a clear case of prejudice versus our case of conspiracy and espionage.”

The US case is not prejudiced?

“Only for self-defense. Journalists must realize their limits. Publishing our secrets, even if we're dead wrong, is a no-no. Everybody knows that. Ask Joe Biden.”

Then who is it that watches over the PTB, if not the journalists?

“Don't ask me. I don't think it's in the Constitution, unless it's the First Amendment. But, you know, that was then, and this is now.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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