WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – Tabloid Today’s Papaya Bamboo has just stated that secret documents have just been found by a member of the CIA.
Bamboo, said that the documents, show that 403 members of the Taliban terrorist faction are actually US citizens, who were born and raised in America.
She revealed that out of the 403 individuals, a total of 391 are registered Republicans, 11 count themselves as Independents, and only one said she was a Democrat.
The information has been turned over to the FBI, who will look into each individual and determine if that person should have his or her citizenship taken away.
FBI spokesperson Charlotte Boxwood, 42, said that most of the 403 will end up losing their driver’s license, their right to vote, and all of their credit cards.