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King Arthur Returns thanks to Brexit

King Arthur, the ancient king and knight of legend, has returned from his slumber on the Isle of Avalon, according to witnesses. The legend tells that Arthur will return when his country is in direst need, and, according to some, it has actually...

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"Absolutely everything is OK" declares May.

Funny story: "Absolutely everything is OK" declares May.

In a follow up to her enthusiasm about a No Deal Brexit being A-OK-not-a-problem, Theresa May has issued a reassuring statement relating to absolutely anything which may crop up, informing the British public, "it'll probably be fine". This follows...

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Brexiters' new tactics of mutilation and extortion

Funny story: Brexiters' new tactics of mutilation and extortion

In the current apocalyptic and grisly political landscape of the UK, Jacob Rees-Mogg has proven himself as deranged as any serial killer. Every day for the last week he has ordered one of his Brexiter minions to sacrifice himself/herself by resigning...

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Local Elections 2018: A Voter's Guide to the Polling Booth

Funny story: Local Elections 2018: A Voter's Guide to the Polling Booth

In response to readers' letters, emails and frequently asked questions to our political correspondent, Paxton Quigley, The Spoof is publishing its own guide to voting rights and wrongs. Can I vote in my pyjamas? (Sloppy Steve) Don't be stupid. Yo...

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Wetherspoon Chairman Denies Quitting Social Media and Shuts Pubs Instead

Funny story: Wetherspoon Chairman Denies Quitting Social Media and Shuts Pubs Instead

Today, in a prompt volte-face, JD Wetherspoon’s weirdo chairman Tim Martin, the last living proponent of the mullet, hair style of the gods, informed the stock exchange that, rather than quitting social media as widely reported, his pub chain was to...

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Miliband Money Worries

David Miliband (the brother of the bacon sandwich guy) has apologised for the MP’s expenses scandal. In which tonnes of MP’s thought “fuck you” to the tax payer and claimed on everything they could. £100 breakfasts, Grey Goose vodka for dictators and...

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Mayday Failday

Embattled Prime Minister, Teresa May, has claimed she has "the full support of the cabinet" and the table and dining room chairs we guess. Mrs May, who was sat on what looked like a tub of vipers, said: "The country needs calm leadership and t...

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Running through wheat fields to be new Olympic Sport

Funny story: Running through wheat fields to be new Olympic Sport

Following her humiliating defeat at the hands of the British electorate, British Prime Minster Teresa May is looking for a new pastime, to while away the worries of missing important discussions, not turning up for meetings, not having a decent polic...

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Her Majesty Mistakenly Locked in Men's Wimbledon Locker Room

Funny story: Her Majesty Mistakenly Locked in Men's Wimbledon Locker Room

Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II was found unharmed on Friday afternoon at the All-England Lawn & Tennis Club in London. Her discovery was preceded by a failed and unnerving thirty-five minute search of the Wimbledon tennis grounds by her security...

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Britain Leaves Its Favorite Panties At Old Boyfriend's Apartment!

Funny story: Britain Leaves Its Favorite Panties At Old Boyfriend's Apartment!

London, UK, Britain, England - It appears that after the torrid and heart-wrenching breakup (which Brexit's boyfriend, E.U. didn't really think she had the nerve to do) she's really leaving this time! But now after storming out, she's forgotten t...

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Most Brits Would Rather Call Their EU Exit 'Leavey McLeave Face!'

Funny story: Most Brits Would Rather Call Their EU Exit 'Leavey McLeave Face!'

Britain, U.K. - After casting millions of votes to name England's new oceanic research vessel Boaty McBoat Face, and then being denied the name by those in charge of naming boats and stuff, most british citizens would now like to stop using the word...

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New to the UK? Here's how to React when Someone Tells You about their Party Membership

1. National Front Gape open-mouthed, as though someone has just told you England has won the World Cup, and it had nothing whatsoever to do with a malign conspiracy by naughty refs. Run away as fast as you can to evade the stench of their Millwall armpits. Gasp as follows: WTF? Is that even a thing these days? 2. SWP/Spartacists/Any other miniscule gang of jackbooted Trotskyite thugs...

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Man dies of boredom watching Labour leadership debate

Funny story: Man dies of boredom watching Labour leadership debate

Medical staff in a Manchester hospital struggled to save the life of a middle-aged man who was rushed to the Accident & Emergency ward after watching one too many Labour leadership debates. The unnamed victim was pronounced dead "from utter bored...

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David Cameron gives thumbs up to 'deep fat fried fox' clause

Funny story: David Cameron gives thumbs up to 'deep fat fried fox' clause

As it looks more and more likely that the Scottish National Party (SNP) will block a vote on fox hunting regulations in England and Wales David Cameron has voiced support for a proposed deal between the current UK government and the Scottish National...

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UKIP's Tarquin Proclaimeth, Albion Fall Silent!

Once, Tarquin Binnett warned us about the damage idle female bishops are doing to all our bathrooms, summoning divine flood-vengeance upon our Englishmen's castles, and leaving the floors wet and untidy. http://glossynews.com/society/human-interest/201503070309/ukips-tarquin-idle-woman-bishops-naughty-un-british-weather/ But what about the terrible gay warming crisis? You know, there is...

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Science Fiction Versus Political Fiction

Warning: Chance Discovery of Future Now Securely Archived Past, present and future are ever-present, as the tinpot Eliots among us will no doubt affirm. The future is documented already, but little more can be said for it than this. Still, there is at least one "consolation of misosophy." To wit: The prying pleb hands of prying plebs (who arrogantly demand "freeloader user status"...

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New Coalition?

In a televised 7 minute statement David Cameron and Ed Milliband have declared their love for each other and have announced they will marry after the election. The relationship grew in strength after being forced to stare into each other's eyes th...

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Thatcher Turns!

All election speeches were put on hold today as politicians of all parties tried to digest the now confirmed news that Margaret Thatcher's ghost had been seen hanging from the flagpole at Downing Street screaming "Vote Labour." The apparition was...

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