Anyone There? Biden Admits His Brain Was Cryogenically Frozen

Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate

Friday, 1 October 2021

image for Anyone There? Biden Admits His Brain Was Cryogenically Frozen
Trying to think

BILLINGSGATE POST: In an interview that will air this Sunday, President Biden admits that, prior to the election this past November, he underwent a cryogenic treatment to preserve the few remaining cells in his brain.

When asked by George Staphylococcus why he chose to undergo the treatment, he replied; “I don’t know. All I remember was that I was trying to think but nothing was happening.”

After recovering from having his head cryogenically frozen at minus 321 degrees Fahrenheit, he admitted that there was little difference than before he had the experimental treatment.

This is the same procedure that Baseball Hall of Famer, Ted Williams, underwent so that he might achieve immortality. The Splendid Splinter died July 5, 2002. His body was then taken by private jet to Alcor Life Extension Foundation in Scottsdale, Ariz. There, Williams' body was separated from his head in a procedure called neuroseparation.

The operation was completed, and Williams' head and body were preserved separately. After being frozen at minus 321 degrees Fahrenheit, his head was stored in a steel can filled with liquid nitrogen. After being shaved, then drilled with holes, the head was then mounted on a Bumblebee tuna can, and used for target practice by his caretakers.

At the time President Biden was interviewed by Staphylococcus, Biden’s brain had not yet reached room temperature, even after nearly a year. Asked if he recalled the name of the President he served under while Vice-President, he cautiously replied:

“I don’t recall. I’m trying to think, but nothing happens.”

Dr. Slim: “What’s new with that?”

Dirty: “Yo, Dr. Dude. You nailed it.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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