BILLINGSGATE POST: Largely overblown rumors of Vice-President Kamala “Breath” Harris being placed in perpetual orbit on Air Force 2 by her boss have been shot down. The President, who himself admitted that it was a mistake to have the giggle prone termagant as his running mate, has enough problems of his own.
Reports of him being chased around the Rose Garden by white cloaked interns wielding giant butterfly nets have surfaced. Press Secretary Jen Psaki danced around the question when asked why the interns were unable to snare the elusive President.
With her chicken lips curled-up in a fax smile, her eyes as vacant as two piss holes in a snow bank and her red locks flicked to one side by a dismissive shake of her head; she replied:
“Listen, you little pencil-neck dork, if you think the President is crazy, put your hands in your pockets and you will feel nuts, too.”
“No one has seen Vice-President Harris for a month. Is the report true that the Vice-President was exiled and placed in perpetual orbit by the President so that he wouldn’t have to hear her cackle again?”
“Absolute nonsense! The President loves her cackle. Loves her strut. Thinks she sounds like Donald Duck.”
Dr. Slim: “That proves he’s crazy. Even Willie Brown couldn’t stand it, even when she put her heels on his shoulders.”
Dirty: “Yo, Dr. Dude. If she lays an egg, I wouldn’t be surprised.”
