DOVER, Delaware – (Satire News) – Hearsay Today has just broken the story that three terrorist members of the Hezbollah army have defected to Delaware.
Reporter Abby Yukon, who was the first American newsperson to interview the trio stated that the first thing they asked when they landed at Delaware Punch Airport was “Okay so where is dees Tom Brady fella?”
The ex-Hezbollah soldiers stated that the reason that they decided to leave Hezbollah was due to the Ingredient’s Scandal, which had caused them to be limited to just one camelburger and three okras per day.
One of the three terrorists identified as Simo Shake Bim Bim, added that he has lost so much friggin’ weight that his shoulder tattoo of a sand crab is now barely recognizable.
Meanwhile the other two Hezzy defectors, Kahar Gizmo and Bamshi Zucabad, along with Simo Shake Bim Bim eagerly asked directions to the nearest McDonalds.
SIDENOTE: The ex-Hezbollah soldiers told Miss Yukon that they plan to travel to California to visit the world-famous La Brea Tar Pits.
