WASHINGTON, D.C. – (Satire News) – After much consideration the United States Department of Animals has decided to close the US-Canadian border due to the fact that Canada has flat out refused to have their extensive moose population neutered or spayed.
Rory Flixmix, a spokesperson for the USD of A, commented that Canada has received at least 17 warning since May, and they have not done a damn thing.
He noted that VP Harris has been in contact with reps for the country directly above the United States, and she cannot believe how effen (she actually used the word fucking) oblivious those folks are.
She noted that they are so engrossed in their ice hockey, their soccer, and their snowball fights, that they literally do not give a shit if their damn moose cross into the US and drop their baby moose all over Minnesota, North Dakota, and Montana.
SIDENOTE: Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, has flat out stated that if Canada refuses to address the matter, then she suggests that we stop importing Canadian products such as okra, oysters, and glow-in-the-dark condoms.