Man Gets Canned When Video Surfaces Of Him Pulling His Dog’s Ears When He Was Two Years Old

Funny story written by mikewadestr

Sunday, 15 August 2021

image for Man Gets Canned When Video Surfaces Of Him Pulling His Dog’s Ears When He Was Two Years Old
Damn! Alpo again!

Like a pig who had his slop taken away from him, Pooch Delaware man Dewey Canine, lost his job because of a precarious incident that occurred two years after his inception into entering the world stage. In what was at the time considered to be a harmless family video of the two year old Canine frolicking with his dog, Canine’s actions in the video would have an impact on his life 20 years after its filming.

In the video, the two year old Canine can be seen playfully pulling his five year old basset hound Yappy’s large oversized ears. In July of this year, Canine, upon rediscovering the old relic from his past, uploaded the video onto his Facebook page. A coworker at Canine’s place of employment one day discovered the video and upon viewing it, immediately notified her employer as well at the organization People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA).

Peta immediately organized a protest against the cruel content of the video outside of Canine’s place of employment which is Dingo Doughnut. The protesters carried signs of which some were emblazoned with slogans such as: “See how you like it when someone pulls your ears” and “You should be smeared for pulling a puppy’s ears”.

Enraged by the negative publicity that his company was receiving, the owner of the business canned Canine and banned him from ever placing as much as a foot into the establishment.

Unfortunately, Canine’s troubles were just beginning. Law enforcement got wind of his actions and arrested him and charged him with cruelty to animals in the first degree which is a first class felony. He was, also, charged with ear degradation of a dog which is a fist class misdemeanor.

A Chow County jury found Canine guilty of all charges and recommended to the judge for Canine to received the death penalty.

When it came time for sentencing Judge Rover told Canine the following:

“If I could, I would render the death penalty for such an egregious act. Normally the maximum sentence that I can give you to serve is 1 year in confinement and 2 years supervised probation, but I found a way around it. There is a little known law called the Doggy Acoustic Violation Act, which allows for a maximum sentence of 10 years confinement for pulling a dog’s ears. So, I hereby sentence you to 10 years solitary confinement and 3 years supervised probation”.

As of press time Canine was trying to appeal his sentence but no lawyer would engage it considering they were al dog lovers.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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