Prince Andrew’s dog gets restraining order against him

Funny story written by Cleopatra Chaos

Thursday, 12 August 2021

image for Prince Andrew’s dog gets restraining order against him
Andrew has no recollection of the dog in this picture taken of him a few years ago and insists that the girl is over 18

The Duke of York is in court again, this time to respond to a restraining order obtained by his dog against him.

The bounder son of the Queen arrived at Balmoral Castle today in a separate car from Scottie, his one-time pet dog. Sarah Ferguson, his divorced wife, arrived in the same car as Andrew, amid looks of disapproval from Prince Charles.

Court documents reveal that Scottie issued proceedings in the Scottish county court, alleging that Prince Andrew has abused him by never walking him, feeding him or picking up his messes. Andrew’s attorney has stated that the Prince has no recollection of ever owning a dog and any photos of him with a dog must have been doctored, but if he did own a dog, he denies not doing any of the things alleged. However, a Judge granted the temporary order, which means that the Prince is allowed to go within 50 yards of Scottie and has to give him his own car.

Scottie’s attorney, Tosh McIntosh, said that attempts to reach an out of court settlement with Prince Andrew failed, as the Prince refused to respond to any letters. Meanwhile, the RSPCA have asked to interview Andrew about the allegations, claiming he has ignored them, too. Andrew’s attorneys, Grabbitt & Runn issued a statement sating that the Prince has cooperated fully, offering to answer any questions by morse code from a lighthouse in Scotland. The RSPCA said “That’s not what we had in mind”.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more