Cotton Bud Became Lodged In Ear Canal

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 18 August 2020

image for Cotton Bud Became Lodged In Ear Canal
Don't push them too far!

Personal hygiene is of the utmost importance, particularly in times such as we are living through with the Coroonavirus pandemic, but things were taken just a little bit too far by one man this week, when a cotton bud he was using to clean his ears out became stuck in his lughole.

Moys Kenwood, 57, is acutely aware of the need to keep clean. He often washes his hands after going to the toilet, and only wipes his nose on his sleeve when his handkerchief is, literally, wringing wet through use.

On Monday, then, he decided it was time to remove the wax from his ears. He poked a cotton bud into his ear, gently at first, then slowly turning it to detach the clinging orange detritus that accumulates in ears. He pushed it a little further, but then started to feel a bit 'giddy'.

Choking, he attempted to extract the bud, only to find that it was snagged on 'some taties'.

Wiggling it this way and that didn't help. In fact, this may have resulted in the bud becoming more and more entrenched.

Now showing concern, he sought out help from his wife, who, placing her bare feet against his head, wrenched the bud for all she was worth.

Eventually, with the 'sucking' sound of a toilet plunger being removed from water, it popped out.

Later, a relieved Kenwood said:

"Clearly, once every six months is not often enough!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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