Bigfoot spotted in upstate bar: Sat alone drinking in a corner booth, left a strange tip

Funny story written by Earthvessel

Friday, 4 June 2021

image for Bigfoot spotted in upstate bar: Sat alone drinking in a corner booth, left a strange tip
a hungover Bigfoot spotted in town this morning. Police were please to note he is adhering to pedestrian crossing signals

Patrons thought last night was just another night at The Backroom Lounge just outside Rochester. Very few noticed the “giant hairy guy” who sat brooding in a far corner, beyond the pool table, by the Men’s bathroom.

“He kept his head down and looked like he just wanted to be left alone. Big guy like that…you don’t want to piss him off you know? I saw red in his eye when he looked up at one point, but I figured the guy was inebriated. So, I just thought it best not to engage since he wasn’t causing any problem.” So said bartender Frankie Murton, who said the “big guy” was there, perched in the corner booth when he got to work at 7 pm. “There were a few bottles of beer on the table. I counted a total of seven beers. They were Millers. But he was nursing them I guess because he was there almost four hours while I was here.”

Efforts to reach owner Bill Hackett who was on duty before Murton have so far been unsuccessful. Murton told us that sometime between 10:45 and 11 pm he looked over and the “patron” was gone.

Shortly afterward, when he went to the bath room, he saw the window frame had been broken, likely from the creature squeezing through to leave the premises.

Merton said he went right to the table after seeing the damage and found two brass buttons and a turkey feather, apparently left as a tip.

Outside the bar in the parking lot Spider Murphy was sitting in his car with an unidentified female when they heard the sound of wood breaking. “I looked over there and saw this big hairy ape comin’ out the window. Honestly I thought I was hallucinating!”

Off duty police officers, who were apparently on the scene at that time (11 pm) discovered a trail of 15” footprints leading away from the building into the woods.

This morning there were reports of a creature with a similar appearance walking briskly through a downtown area. It is not known if these are two different individuals or the same creature.

Enthusiasts are planning to conduct a wide-scale search in an effort to spot the bipedal creature later today.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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