BILLINGSGATE POST: He had it all. Minus a decent personality, and lacking any discernible redeeming qualities, he somehow managed to be elected Governor of New York.
Not of Ivy League material, he graduated from Fordham University, a mediocre Jesuit institution that requires only that you be baptized a Catholic and be of either Irish or Italian heritage to be accepted as a student.
Adored by the liberal media for haphazardly weaning out over 13,000 elderly citizens from New York’s nursing home facilities, he nevertheless was singled out to receive an Emmy for his efforts to thin out the Earth’s population.
A single man who some say resembles a 63 year-old baboon, his penchant for ladies less than half his age was his downfall. Forgetting that diamonds are a girl’s best friend, he thought he could sweep them off their feet without taping a thousand dollar bill to his forehead.
Leading into a flirtatious conversation with a young sweetie by asking her if she has ever had sex with a geriatric, usually doesn’t lead to a romp in the rack.
Dr. Slim: “You never know. She might have had ramshackle ovaries and clapboard breasts.”
Dirty: “Yo, Dude. Don’t know how he missed. The guy has moves of a man twice his age.”