Lorry Parked Outside Man's House Is A Bloody Nuisance

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 1 January 2021

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The scene outside chez Kenwood this morning

We've all been there. The annoying neighbor parking his car right outside our house, our window, or right across our drive, making it extremely difficult for us to gain access to the garage.

Spare a thought, then, for one man who had an even bigger - and longer -
problem to deal with this morning, when a long and large lorry was left straddling his garden path, making it impossible for his wife to get her motorbike out of the property when she wanted to go to the market!

Moys Kenwood, 57, knew very well that the vehicle was parked outside of his house last night before he went to bed, but assumed that it would have been moved by its driver before the Englishman awoke, as it had been for the last three days.

Sadly, this was not the case.

The lorry, belonging to a company that buys rice from local farmers, was still blocking any exit, other than by on foot.

Kenwood's wife went to alert the driver, who, because the company is based in Phnom Penh and pay its staff in peanuts, usually sleeps in the vehicle's cab.

Alas, the man was not there.

A search quickly conducted by Mrs. Kenwood revealed that he was not in the back of the lorry, nor underneath it, involved in any kind of maintenance.

Unable to go to the market, she became irritated, frustrated, annoyed, and then furious, in that order. She raged around the lorry for a few minutes, talking about what she would do once the driver was located. She went inside to use the toilet.

The driver, who was watching from a safe distance after hunkering down for the night in a hammock slung between two trees, quickly emerged from his hidey-hole, revved-up his vehicle, and was gone in a flash.

Mrs. Kenwood plans to put some bollards out tonight.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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