The Coronavirus Has Caused Sales of Convertibles To Plummet By 313%

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Sunday, 13 September 2020

image for The Coronavirus Has Caused Sales of Convertibles To Plummet By 313%
A 1971 Oldsmobile convertible parked at a McDonalds in Kalamazoo, Michigan.

DETROIT – (Satire News) - The United States auto industry is reeling from the fact that sales of convertibles has spiraled down in just the past six months.

Tab Vienna, a spokesman for Kia, said that sales of the once very popular ‘topless’ cars have fallen lower than a rattlesnake's belly.

He commented that National Focus magazine attributes the 313% decrease to several factors.

Vienna said that one is, of course, the dreaded Coronavirus, which has caused people not to venture out as much.

He stressed that when they do go out, most do not want to be driving all over town, with their faces exposed to the billions and billions of COVID-19 bacterialistic germs and elementarian elements.

Secondly, he says that today's singers are just not recording songs about convertibles like they used to back in the 50s and 60s, which really helped to boost sales of convertibles.

Vienna noted that several songs that the Beach Boys recorded really had a big impact on sales of convertibles.

SIDENOTE: The Beach Boys recorded two songs about convertibles including; “When The Top Came Down, My Baby’s Top Came Down Also” and “She Was Lovin’ My Brand New Convertible, Until The Wind Blew Her Wig Off Into the Moonless Night.”]

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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